Dec. 1, 2025
Suicide Awareness
When a family member dies of natural causes there is a time period of grieving that takes place. When someone dies by suicide, their loved ones are grieving and are left with questions like “How could this have happened?” Processing the grief, loss and guilt is necessary. Showing up and supporting those who are grieving, is important and very valuable for their healing. If you are feeling overwhelmed by thoughts of not wanting to live or having urges to attempt to end your life, get help now!
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This program is designed to provide general information with regards
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to the subject matters covered. This information is given with
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the understanding that neither the hosts, guests, sponsors, or station
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are engaged in rendering any specific and personal medical, financial,
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legal counseling, professional service, or any advice. You should seek
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the services of competent professionals before applying or trying any
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suggested ideas.
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Hello, and thank you for tuning in to a Sharp
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Outlook on pay for HD radio and Talk or TV.
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I am Angela Sharp. Your host our arm chair discussions
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with industry experts will give you the steps, tools and
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information to be successful in business and to prepare you
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to be your best self. Hello, I'm Angela Sharp and
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welcome to a Sharp Outlook. Our topic to day is difficult,
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but it's something that we really need to talk about
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openly and honestly. When a family member dies of natural causes,
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there is a time period of grieving that takes place.
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When someone dies of suicide, their loved ones are grieving
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and are left with questions like how could this have happened?
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Processing the grief, loss and guilt is necessary. Showing up
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and supporting those who are grieving is important and very
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valuable for their healing. If you are feeling overwhelmed by
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thoughts of not wanting to live or having urges to
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attempt to end your life, please get help now. The
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services are free and confidential. During the upcoming holidays, we
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should be aware that suicides increase. Checking in on others
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that might not have family relationships is important. Globally, there
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are over seven hundred and twenty thousand people who die
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of suicide every year. It is the second leading cause
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of death among people ages ten to fourteen and twenty
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to thirty four. That was amazing information when I researched this.
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The majority of suicides are males, and poisoning is among
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the most common means worldwide. What's happening with our children?
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Why are they wanting to die? What is the source
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of so much unhappiness? This is a difficult subject to discuss,
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but we must remove the stigma and start talking and
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find solutions to this silent epidemic. My guest today is
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going to be able to clear up some of those
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questions and also talk about the experience. Doctor Anne Pendell, MD,
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FACP is an internal medicine physician and geriatrician who's spent
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more than thirty years caring for patients and supporting colleagues
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and finding joy and meaning in their work. She also
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is a certified coach with Passion, where her passion lies
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in helping healthcare teams thrive with purpose, clarity, and heart.
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Anne's commitment to fostering connection and belonging deepened after the
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death of her son by suicide. While she does not
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claim expertise in suicide prevention, she openly shares her personal
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experience a profound loss to reduce stigma, invite conversation, and
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encourage compassionate support for individuals and families navigating mental health challenges.
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Throughout her career, including her most recent role as Senior
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Medical Director for Physician and app Experience at inter Mountain Health,
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Anne has focused on creating an environment where people feel seeing, supported,
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and valued. Her advocacy today centers on the belief that
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naming suicide, honoring our stories, and creating space for hard
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conversations can help cultivate compassion, connection, and hope. Outside of medicine,
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and and her husband Duncan, raised five children and now
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delight in five grandchildren. Her therapy dogs Olive and Alie,
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help bring comfort and connection to healthcare workers and extend
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of Anne's lifelong commitment to caring for others. And I'd
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like to ask you to join me today so we
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can begin this discussion. Thank you for being willing to
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share your personal journal journey happy to be here. Yes,
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you've shared that connection and belonging have played a meaningful
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role in your personal and professional life. Caring about why
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checking in on others and creating supportive, caring and environments
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matters so much, especially during tender times. Why do you
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feel this way?
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Well, I think primarily my clinical experience as an internest
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and geriatrician, caring for patients often who have chronic illness
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where we can't fix but can manage or have conversations
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about what's important. Really building those connections with patients build
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trust and confidence and care, and that really has been
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central to my clinical practice. And then as I stepped
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into leadership roles, it's just seemed to, you know, a
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natural transition to apply those same the same importance of
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connection in that setting. And as people who know me
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know that I'm a relationship focused leader and that has
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served me well, I also recognize, especially following the death
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of my son, is well maybe I should take a
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step back. What I realized in my clinical practice is
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many people are struggling with really hard things and struggling
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alone and don't have someone to talk with or feel supported.
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And so that was really one of my first takeaways
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about the importance of connection and having that community. And
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then when Robbie died, I was in both a leadership
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role and I still was in my clinical practice role,
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and I then became so much more acutely aware of
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the power of those people that weren't afraid to check in,
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who weren't afraid to reach out and connect. It was powerful.
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And of course, you know at the beginning you've got
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a lot of people checking in on you, but ass
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time passes, it is less and less. And those that
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would send a quick text to say, oh, I was
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doing this and thought of you, or I was doing
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this and it reminded me of you was so important
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for me and healing in so many ways. And not
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that I ever believed I didn't matter, but those small
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little connections really reinforce the belief that I was seen.
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Yeah, and I realize how important that is. I know,
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probably a lot of people think, oh, she's so busy
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or she's doing this, or she's got great things going on,
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or things like that. They don't realize that, regardless of
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how important your job is, or how successful you are
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in your career or whatever they're thinking, because they're viewing
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from the outside. We have moments of sadness. We have
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moments where we need to tell somebody that we're not
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quite all right. But those people think everything's so good
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with you or cool with you. They don't check in.
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They don't say are you okay?
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You know, are you all right?
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And so I'm here to say everybody needs that connection.
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Check in, send a text, post something, just say I'm
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thinking about you and I'm sending a hug. That means
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so much. Believe me, really, you know so much for
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people to just do that, if you know someone, check
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in on them, if you just faintly know them, you know.
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But there are work, you know, colleague or whatever, doesn't
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hurt to check in and just see how they're doing.
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It's really I like that thought there.
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Yeah, I do think what you said initially is that
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many people think that, oh, they're so busy, I don't
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want to bother them, and that's that's just not the case.
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And you know, a text message is nice because it
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doesn't really require a response. You can put a heart
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emoji or something on it. But just knowing that someone
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else out there is thinking of.
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You, yeah, yeah, and that you're just seen, you're seen,
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or you're even just maybe a brief thought in someone's mind.
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You know, it's important. You know, believe me, I'll make
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time just to be noticed. I'll make time just to
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take and receive your hello. It just means a lot.
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And so I I yeah, I wholeheartily agree that that
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is true for anyone listening who may be struggling or
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supporting a loved one. Resources such as nine eight eight
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suicide and Crisis Lifeline are available. Why isn't it important
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for us to know these resources exist even if we're
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not sure what to say or how to help people.
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Well, that's such a good question, and I think I
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learned this in my physician leadership work that men any
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leaders were unsure how to approach difficult conversations or were
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worried about maybe saying the wrong thing, or you know,
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not knowing what to do if they learned information from
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the person they were speaking to that required some immediate
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attention and knowing what the resources are that are available
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to you helps decrease some of the anxiety about having
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those conversations. Also, one of the other things that we
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learned is that by talking about those hard things, it
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became clear that knowing or asking for support or knowing
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that you might need support was really viewed as a
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sign of strength. And so being able to change that
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conversation to really speak of it's ok to raise your
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hand to ask for help, and if you do, here
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are the resources that can help you. That became really powerful,
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and I think it helped people also not be afraid
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to take that step into a difficult conversation. They were
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more confident and not as likely to avoid.
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It, right right, Yeah, it is you know, you think
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about people that are isolated. I used to counsel people
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at the alcohol drug treatment centers and also homeless people,
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and their biggest statement was I feel forgotten. I feel
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like no one cares. I feel like why should I
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wake up tomorrow? And I would probably didn't use the
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right tone because I wasn't trained, but I would say
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I don't want you to ever say that again, because
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you are important, you are valuable, you have gift inside
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of you that you haven't tapped into, and so we
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want to change his conversation and find out what really
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brings you joy and what really brings you happiness, because
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you there's something inside of you. We were all given
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something and now let's work on that one. But and
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a lot of that is we get so caught up
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in our daily lives. We don't notice anyone else but ourselves,
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and we have to reach out and touch, reach out
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and touch somebody's hands. Make this place a better place
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if you can. That was a good song, he was
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so yeah, and we probably need to start singing it more.
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We need to reach out, we need to touch. You know,
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social media is great way of doing it since people
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are scattered around the country and maybe not living in
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the same places. But just like we said, reaching out
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and touching them in some way is really helpful. Your
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mission is rooted in the belief that while you cannot
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change the past, you can use your experience to help
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reduce stigma and create space for conversation. How do you
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choose to raise your voice and create awareness in these days?
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Probably the most important thing that I've done is really
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share my story about my son and the impact of
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his death on me and my family and kind of
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my inability to fix the grief. You know, in healthcare
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we're fixers, and that is one of the things that
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I initially believed that I could fix this, and by
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this I mean the grief that goes with the death
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of a child. I think talking about suicide it kind
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of names the really uncomfortable thing that people don't like
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to talk about, which in some ways normalizes those conversations
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and decreases some of the stigma. I talked before about
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normalizing help seeking and making it be okay to raise
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your hand and say I need some help. The other
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thing that I found surprising is that as I shared
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my story and my family's story and Robbie's story, people
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would seek me out and share their stories. It may
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not have been of suicide, but of struggles, and every
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now and again someone would say, watching you navigate this
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has given me hope that I can navigate the hard
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things that I do as well. And I hadn't really
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realized that, you know, people are watching us, and you know,
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it wasn't pretty. There were days at work that I
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was pretty tearful and you know, didn't have it all together.
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And I think that that kind of created that safe
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space for people to gravitate towards me and share things
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that were hard.
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So, oh, go ahead, Yeah, I was going to say,
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so the loss of your son pretty much changed you,
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change your life forever?
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Yeah?
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How is that experience with grief influenced the way you
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show up as a physician or a leader, or a
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coach or a neighbor.
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How how all those things?
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Yeah?
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I think probably most important is with empathy and curiosity.
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I'm much more a two uned too, asking questions, wondering
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what's behind either a behavior or a comment. I'm also
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very aware that grief is this journey that kind of
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goes up and down. And sometimes I felt like I
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was actually maybe coming out of grief, and then COVID happened,
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so kind of a setback there, and my mom became
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ill and she passed away, another setback, and so being
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able to give myself some grace that I don't have
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it all figured out, and it was okay just to
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be where I was, wherever that was was where I
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needed to be at the time. Initially, I and some
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like grief writing workshops and some group work and thinking
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that I could work my way through this because that's
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how I approach everything, is figuring out how to make
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it better. And this was not one of those things
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that could be made better. It just needed to take
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its own time, its own journey. I suppose I'm kinder.
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