June 22, 2026

Trauma-What are Your Stories?

Trauma-What are Your Stories?
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Season 2

Today’s podcast we explore trauma, healing, and the power of positive stories and honest conversations. We will discuss Healing thru stories that will help listeners feel seen, supported, and reminded that healing is possible. Trauma is real, but so is healing through truth, connection, and storytelling. Positive stories can help people heal, not by denying pain. Today we create space for honest reflection on trauma. What stories are you telling yourself. Are they the right stories for healing?

ASharpe Outlook is broadcast live Mondays at 8AM PT on K4HD Radio - Hollywood Talk Radio (www.k4hd.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). ASharpe Outlook TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).

ASharpe Outlook Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/asharpe-outlook--6643730/support.

WEBVTT

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This program is designed to provide general information with regards

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to the subject matters covered. This information is given with

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the understanding that neither the hosts, guests, sponsors, or station

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are engaged in rendering any specific and personal medical, financial, legal, counseling,

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professional service, or any advice. You should seek the services

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of competent professionals before applying or trying any suggested ideas.

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Hello, and thank you for tuning in to A Sharp

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Outlook on pay for HD radio and Talk for TV.

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I am Angela Sharp, your host. I'll arm to your

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discussions with industry experts will give you the steps, tools

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and information to be successful.

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In business and to prepare you to be your best self. Hello,

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I'm Angela Sharp, and welcome to A Sharp Outlook to

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Today We're going to talk about trauma, how to heal

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from trauma and the stories that you may tell over

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and over and what stories are you telling yourself. Today's

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podcast explores trauma, healing and the power of positive stories

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through honest conversations. We're going to be discussing the experiences,

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the pain, the resilience and recovery. The goal is not

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toxic positivity, but hope through stories. Hope through understanding and

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going through the process for the healing that is needed.

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What we wanted to say is trauma is real. We

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know that it's real, but you know what, so is healing.

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Healing can be just as real as the trauma. And

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the thing is healing through truth and connection and storytelling

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can really bring you to a point where you find

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that healing, You find that peace, you find that hope,

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you find that joy, and you find that energy to

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move forward and take over your life. Positive stories can

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help people heal, not by denying pain, but by offering perspective, courage,

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and possibility. Today, recreate space for you to have that

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honest reflection on trauma, recovery, setbacks, and resilience that you

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need to be able to go through the healing process.

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Healing comes in many forms, and so we're going to

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talk about different ways of healing, but one of the

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things we want to talk about are the healing ways

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of stories. Ever fell alone in your experience, I want

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you to know this podcast is here to remind you

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your stories matter. Healing is not linear. Healing is real.

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So welcome to our podcast today. Trauma. What are your stories?

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It's not a substitute for professional therapy or medical advice.

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So seek professional help if you are really truly struggling

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with trauma. Today, our special guest is Hoda Summit. She

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is a solution focused coach. She is the owner of

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Begin to Heal Counseling and Consulting services, and she is

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here on the mission to support individuals, couples, and families

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on their healing journey. She believes in providing a safe,

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in nurturing environment where everyone can explore their challenges and

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find paths to wellness. She's a return guest, She's been

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there before. You can find our previous podcast by going

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through the A Sharp Outlook Library. She has designed over

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twenty trainee sessions on alternative healing strategies using indigenous and

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effrocentric frameworks. Hoda is an author Wonderful Book and we're

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going to talk about her book today. She recognizes and

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integrates the practice of capacity building and harm reduction. She

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has helped countless individuals heal from various forms of trauma.

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She's passionate about empowering others to reclaim their lives after trauma.

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Her approach is rooted in empathy, cultural sensitivity, and evidence

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based practices. Welcome Hodah to.

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Thank you for having me as a guest. I'm really

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honored to be here for the second time. I know

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our last conversation was you know, was very eye opening,

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not only for you know, your your viewers, but also

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for myself. This is a learning process for all of us,

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right whether and we talk about things that affect the community,

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things that affect the body, the mind, the spirit.

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Yes, yes, absolutely, And believe me, there's enough noise outside

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that is affecting a lot of people. I mean whole communities,

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whole countries. I mean, it's a lot of things going on,

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and it's creating a lot of trauma, creating a lot

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of insecurities, creating a lot of anxieties, and having someone

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like you that has that desire to give them, you know,

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other paths and other ways of healing. I mean, it's

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just wonderful to be that listening ear and so we

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just welcome you because it's just just great and the

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fact that you have your book now meet Layla. I

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want to talk about Layla. I see Laila in some

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of your social media postings and things, and it's just

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a wonderful way of getting people to come out of

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themselves and understand through Layla's journey. So we want to

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talk about your book that you've written, and in fact,

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tell me, tell me about the book and why you

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feel the desire or the need to write this book

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and these stories by Layla.

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So ever since I've been involved in social media, you

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see things happening right in front of you. You see

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the trauma and the experience of people happening right in

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front of you.

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And so I.

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Was like so in shock about how people are using

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social media as a way to cope from trauma, which

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is so unhealthy. Yeah, So Layla is as a result

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of my experiences with people who struggle from trauma. And

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every time somebody talks about their trauma, they go back

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in history, so they go back to their childhood trauma.

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So my mind always goes and focuses on solutions. So

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I'm not a problem focused the individual. I'm a solution

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orient you know, clinician as well as a human being, right,

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so I'm always looking for how can we improve the

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lives improve the lives of people, you know, by going

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back in history and trying to figure out what caused

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them to experience the trauma symptoms. And so this is

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a prevention book. It's not a book, you know, to

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provide people with adult healing solutions. It's more about prevention

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and seeing Layla and her experiences and identifying your trauma

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symptoms so you're able to heal from it in a healthy.

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Way and not in an unhealthy way.

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Right right, Yeah. And that's why I'm excited about the podcast,

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because I'm on social media because of the podcast and

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because of the work that I do, and I'm seeing

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the things that you're seeing, and I'm saying, oh, dear God,

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we need someone to intervene and help because they're getting

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information that is not healthy. They're getting information. In fact,

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all they're doing is everybody's joining in and you know,

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bringing their anger and bringing their anxiety, bringing their fears,

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and just sharing it over and over and over and over.

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And those are not the kind of stories we want

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to be focusing on. We want to be focusing on

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the stories that help you come out of the trauma

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and help you go to the person that you really are.

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You're not that trauma, and I think they believe that's

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who they are now instead of finding that person that

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was before the trauma and can leap over it and

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you know what I'm saying, and become the person you

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were created to be, not just constantly battling that situation

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over and over and over. Yeah. So I've been seen

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the same thing and it's like, oh, I'm don't stop that,

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but I can't interject. It takes over.

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Yeah, and it's it's so.

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Shocking not only for you know, for people who are

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viewing this on social media, but it's also shocking for

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people like me who work with individuals who struggle with

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trauma symptoms, because we rarely see a group or you know,

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a group of people on social media who are experiencing

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trauma or the symptoms of being re traumatized in in

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in in the time that you you are on social media.

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So it's called real time experience. So it's never been

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like this, like you can actually see it in real time,

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and so you want to stop it. You want to

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say stop, this is not the way, when you can't

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because they're not ready for that, they're not ready for

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an intervention.

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Yeah. And and and it's very difficult watching that because

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I know I was traumatized early in my life and

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it is a journey, and it's a difficult journey. And

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the one thing I learned from the therapy that I

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had to go through was stop telling the story and

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find new stories to tell. And so I think that's

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why I continually reimagine myself and you know, do different things,

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take on new challenges, take on new careers, different things

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like that, so that I am always coming up with

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a new story in my life and not reliving that

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area that just absolutely almost sucked the life for me.

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And that's why I wanted to have this discussion, because

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I know it's not healthy to keep revisiting that over

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and over. And then one of the healing things that

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I did, I didn't think it was going to be healing,

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but it really was was going to prisons and talking

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to people in prisons, going to alcohol drug treatment centers

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and talking with them and helping them understand, this is

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where you are now, but this is not where you're

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going to stay, and this is not who you are.

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And it really was healing to me because I was

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healing myself by advising them, you know, forgive yourself and

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move on, forgive those people who traumatize you, and move

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on and then become what you're supposed to be with

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that wonderful person that can maybe even take that energy

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and come back and help others through that path.

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Yeah, and you know what you just mentioned something really

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important is that vulnerability is the beginning of the healing journey.

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And so these individuals like that you visited at the

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jail system, you know, those people are vulnerable. They're vulnerable,

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and they're ready because they've hit rock bottom and so

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the only way to go is up. So they need

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that and.

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A lot of.

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A lot of prisons go back to spirituality and religion

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in order to heal themselves when they are incarcerated. And

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so it's it's amazing that experience is such an amazing experience.

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People look at it from a negative context, but I

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feel like, you know, you're not put in that situation.

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To punish you in a way.

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You're put in that situation to change the way you

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think about your life. And so that experience, even though

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you know, we are people who live outside of the

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prison system, they have their own way of functioning and

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they have their own way of healing. And I feel

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like some of the people that are there, their experiences

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have been so much better than they when they were

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outside of the prison system. And so yeah, I see

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that and I think you saw that working with these.

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Yeah, yeah, I actually saw lives changed some when they

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when they were finally released, they became counselors. They became

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mentors in the communities, trying to make sure the next

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generation didn't make the same decisions or make the same

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you know, do the same things, and you know, and

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those and you know, alcohol drug treatment centers a lot

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of it. They they were there because they're trying to

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inneborate pain and they didn't know how to deal with

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the pain, and they didn't know where to go to

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be able to, you know, get get the relief from

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the trauma. And they generally had experienced some physical or

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mental or emotional trauma, serious trauma, and so they would

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take the drugs, they would drink to to be able

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to get through it, you know, and just forget it,

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just for a moment, you know. And it's not the

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path to take, but that's the understanding of what they

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were doing, and they just needed to find peace and

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that's what they felt they were getting. Okay, So then

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you talk to them and say, okay, now where are

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you going to go from here? Because you're not this

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You are so much more than this and then they

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would talk to me about, yeah, I do this art

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and they would show it to me. I mean so

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much talent writers, people that could write songs, you know, singers, music.

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They were there, but they had taken this path because

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of the hurt. If they had been feeling it, didn't

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have any place else to go.

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Yeah, and going back to Layla, So I'll give you

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a little bit of synopsis as to.

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What Layla stories are.

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So they're not just stories, they're healing journeys. And so

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they come in diary format. And so for many many

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years when I was engaged in counseling with individuals who

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struggle with trauma symptoms, I always encouraged journaling. So journaling

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is a form of closing those negative thoughts. And children

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know journaling, they understand closing those negative thoughts. So what

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Layla did in her diaries, in her stories is at

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the end of each diary, she closed those negative thoughts

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with positive thoughts. So she actually asked people a lot

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of questions. She asked herself a lot of questions. She

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understood at a very young age that she was experiencing

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the initial symptoms of trauma through her mother. So she

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didn't go to her mother for healing solutions. She went

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to her sister. She knew that her sister would give

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her what she needed to heal from that trauma experience

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because my mother was not ready. And this is what

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we always assume that parents have the solution, but parents

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sometimes don't have the solution. Sometimes you need to grow

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up knowing that. And that is what a lot of

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my a lot of my clients, what they always wanted

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to know is the why why didn't my mom do

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this to me?

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Why did my dad do this to me? Why? Why?

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So staying that in that way of thinking, you can't

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begin your healing journey because you're stuck.

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Right right, And those are some of the things that

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I would hear, Well, why didn't why didn't my parent

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do this? Why didn't my parent do that? And I said,

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had your parents experience trauma to being indigenous people? Did

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they not experience trauma? I mean we're talking about cultural trauma,

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we're talking about generational trauma. They didn't know how, but

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you can forgive them for not knowing, can't you. And

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then they were like, oh, well, well yeah, okay, and

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believe me, they've forgiven you. And so let's reunite with family,

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because everyone's not perfect. There's no classes to teach you

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how to be a parent, and then even if there was,

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it wouldn't be a good one because every family is different.

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So it's not general. Every family is different, every situation

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is different, every economic situation. So it's really difficult to

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blame people when they didn't know either.

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And and and Layla is an example to everyone. It's

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just it's not just an example to people who are

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of racialized descent. There's also people who live in mainstream

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have experienced those trauma symptoms. So you can see Layla

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transitioning from the impact of the trauma to her healing

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in one journal, in one journal, in one sitting, in

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what in one scene, I think, in the in the

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in the through my mystory, right, and so Laila goes

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from angry, sad, disappointed, annoyed, abandoned to understanding, compassion, kindness,

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you know, feelings of happiness, gratitude in one scene. You

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can see that transition in every page. And so I

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wanted people to see that your experience is normal. You

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go through these trauma symptoms on a regular basis, But

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what are you doing to heal from those trauma symptoms.

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Are they accumulating to the point where now you are

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living a toxic life or are you able to go

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back and forth?

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Right?

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Because people think that trauma is just one impact and

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then that's it. You live with it, But it's not

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trauma is you know, small little occurrences, small little experiences,

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or it could be something huge, but it requires the

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same healing journey, and so it's self identified. Everybody thinks

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that there's a general solution to trauma, but it's first

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of all, trauma is embedded in all of us. Sorry,

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healing is embedded in all of us. But it's how

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you use those those healing qualities that we are born with, right,

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how do you use that to heal from your experiences?

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And this is what our ancestors have, like they taught us.

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If we go back to our ancestors taught us this

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and talking about indigenous people, like the amount of spiritual

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I don't know how to explain like experiences that they

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have that they can use to heal from their traumas,

295
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like they've been left this legacy, right, but it's something

296
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that needs to you know, come back or it needs

297
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to again be a useful tool.

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Yes, yes, and I agree that the spirituality, you know.

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And I remember when I before I had gone out

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and started wanting to work with these other people who

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had experienced trauma. I used to see my uncles and

302
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they had been in the military and things like that.

303
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And now I understand why they drank all the time

304
00:23:49.480 --> 00:23:52.640
and different things, and they were just always you get

305
00:23:52.680 --> 00:23:55.160
to see that they were in pain. But I was

306
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a young child. I was the baby of the family,

307
00:23:57.440 --> 00:24:01.039
so I didn't understand. But I just knew that I

308
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don't want you around me. And sometimes they would see

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me on the street and I would avoid responding because

310
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I didn't want somebody to think that I knew them.

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And I mean I felt that embarrassment and as a

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young child and your friends saying you know that person, No, no,

313
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I don't know who that is. Then I would feel

314
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horrible all day because I, you know, disowned my family.

315
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But I didn't understand, and there was and I probably

316
00:24:31.599 --> 00:24:33.680
should have just talked to my mother about it, but

317
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I kept it in myself. And so, you know, so

318
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then when I started going through my own situation, then

319
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they came back to me and I said, I understand,

320
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and such an overwhelming amount of empathy and compassion and

321
00:24:56.079 --> 00:25:02.680
understanding and wanting to heal them. It made me go

322
00:25:02.799 --> 00:25:05.720
out and try to talk to others who were in

323
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the same situations and help them to heal because I

324
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wasn't a help to my family and so I just

325
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felt that. But yeah, it's inside of us, It honestly is,

326
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and you can It'll come up if you don't close

327
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the doors to it. Yeah, yes, and you can see.

328
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Laylah is so curious in her experiences.

329
00:25:32.480 --> 00:25:37.000
She wants to know why, why does her mother react

330
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that way? Why does why is mom always angry? Why

331
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does mom always push me away?

332
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Right?

333
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And then she goes to her sister, and her sister

334
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is very gentle with her. She doesn't tell her things

335
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that she doesn't understand. She talks to her from her level,

336
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from her understanding. So Laila always gravitates towards seeking information

337
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from her sister. But this time this book is based

338
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on going to the homeland. Layla and her mom are

339
00:26:12.079 --> 00:26:18.279
visiting grandmother there, so Layla sees where her mom's trauma

340
00:26:18.559 --> 00:26:27.079
is coming from that experience now with grandmother right observing

341
00:26:27.519 --> 00:26:36.480
her mom's trauma as as she experiences her first encounter

342
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with her grandmother. So Layla now leaves Homeland now with

343
00:26:44.160 --> 00:26:48.759
all of this information and all of this experience and

344
00:26:49.000 --> 00:26:52.079
understands the importance of communal healing.

345
00:26:53.559 --> 00:26:58.880
Oh absolutely, that sounds so wonderful. I need to go

346
00:26:59.000 --> 00:27:07.519
and look at some things that Layla is talking about. Encouraging. Yes,

347
00:27:07.680 --> 00:27:11.480
that is the way of being able to heal and

348
00:27:11.920 --> 00:27:17.640
others understanding when you see you know, everybody wants to blame,

349
00:27:18.000 --> 00:27:21.119
you know, blame their mother or blame their father, or

350
00:27:21.160 --> 00:27:28.880
blame and not ever asking did you ever experience a situation?

351
00:27:30.039 --> 00:27:33.920
They never get that have that close conversation with their

352
00:27:34.000 --> 00:27:38.599
parents to find out what did they experience that's causing

353
00:27:38.880 --> 00:27:42.039
this because I know I didn't do anything, so what's

354
00:27:42.119 --> 00:27:46.240
going on? But we never go and have the what

355
00:27:46.319 --> 00:27:48.119
do you want to call it, the boldness to go

356
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and say why are you acting like that? I mean,

357
00:27:51.519 --> 00:27:52.839
that's probably the right question.

358
00:27:54.279 --> 00:28:00.400
But yeah, So it's all about vulnerability, right, And Brown

359
00:28:00.519 --> 00:28:06.240
talks about vulnerability. I follow I followed Bernie Brown, read

360
00:28:06.279 --> 00:28:13.519
her books, watched her on YouTube, you know, on Netflix.

361
00:28:14.720 --> 00:28:18.759
Try to understand the importance of vulnerability. So the reason

362
00:28:18.799 --> 00:28:22.880
why children heal so quickly is because they are vulnerable

363
00:28:23.559 --> 00:28:28.240
they're born with vulnerability. Every child is born with vulnerability.

364
00:28:28.279 --> 00:28:33.440
And then your surroundings, your environment now teaches you not

365
00:28:33.559 --> 00:28:39.160
to be vulnerable, right, as a protective factor. But also

366
00:28:39.759 --> 00:28:43.559
you know, when you don't show a lot of vulnerability

367
00:28:43.640 --> 00:28:48.440
or engage in vulnerability, you actually stop yourself from your

368
00:28:48.480 --> 00:28:52.440
healing journey. And that's what people don't understand. They think, Oh,

369
00:28:52.519 --> 00:28:56.799
I'm protecting myself, my environment. I don't want to be

370
00:28:56.920 --> 00:29:00.960
vulnerable with people. But then what are you doing to yourself?

371
00:29:01.200 --> 00:29:06.559
Because now your relationships are impacted, right, because you are

372
00:29:06.640 --> 00:29:09.559
now superficial with everybody around you.

373
00:29:09.559 --> 00:29:12.880
You're not yourself. It affects you, affects the other person.

374
00:29:13.440 --> 00:29:17.279
And so then all of a sudden, there's all these

375
00:29:17.839 --> 00:29:21.240
divorces and separations and people who don't want to be

376
00:29:21.279 --> 00:29:25.559
in relationships, like, for example, this generation. Most people like

377
00:29:25.839 --> 00:29:28.599
in this generation don't want to get married. They don't

378
00:29:28.640 --> 00:29:31.519
want to be in a relationship. They don't want that

379
00:29:31.759 --> 00:29:36.880
intimacy anymore. Why because they know how pain looks like.

380
00:29:37.519 --> 00:29:41.480
It's painful to be with somebody. Why because two people

381
00:29:41.519 --> 00:29:47.319
with trauma symptoms are fueling each other. Right, none of

382
00:29:47.359 --> 00:29:50.759
them are healed. They come into a relationship they're not healed.

383
00:29:50.839 --> 00:29:53.559
What are they doing. They're just fueling.

384
00:29:53.119 --> 00:29:56.079
Each other in a negative way, and they don't know

385
00:29:56.119 --> 00:29:59.880
why one is triggering the other person. The other person

386
00:30:00.119 --> 00:30:03.839
is triggering, these children are being triggered. The whole family is,

387
00:30:04.400 --> 00:30:10.079
you know, experiencing trauma because of that unhealed factor.

388
00:30:10.400 --> 00:30:14.920
Right right, and it's it's a really vicious cycle. Yeah,

389
00:30:15.000 --> 00:30:19.000
I've been seeing that that. There's just their their conversations

390
00:30:19.079 --> 00:30:22.480
and I know we're not having any commitments. You know,

391
00:30:22.880 --> 00:30:25.759
even even the young ladies. They're saying, we're not going

392
00:30:25.839 --> 00:30:29.319
to have any children. And I thought to myself, well,

393
00:30:29.319 --> 00:30:33.720
it'sn't a wonderful experience to have children, you know. But

394
00:30:33.759 --> 00:30:35.920
they're like, we just don't, we don't, We're not going

395
00:30:36.000 --> 00:30:40.559
to have it. I mean, they're even physically guaranteeing, they're

396
00:30:40.559 --> 00:30:44.200
having surgeries to guarantee that they never have children. It's like,

397
00:30:44.559 --> 00:30:47.359
you're too young to make that kind of decision. You

398
00:30:47.400 --> 00:30:50.240
don't know what the future is gonna hold. And yeah,

399
00:30:50.279 --> 00:30:54.200
there's just so much that's out there impacting them. But

400
00:30:54.720 --> 00:30:58.160
you know, yeah, there's a lot going on too, so

401
00:30:58.279 --> 00:31:02.240
I can see that. But yeah, I understand that being

402
00:31:02.359 --> 00:31:07.240
vulnerable because I know I can attest to what you're

403
00:31:07.279 --> 00:31:12.599
saying when after after I had been I was assaulted,

404
00:31:12.680 --> 00:31:19.400
and after that occurred, the walls came up. I dressed

405
00:31:19.720 --> 00:31:25.680
a certain way after that. I never gave eye contact again.

406
00:31:26.759 --> 00:31:32.000
I had very few friends, and I never let others

407
00:31:32.119 --> 00:31:37.400
come in. And those walls were there for a very,

408
00:31:37.519 --> 00:31:41.680
very long time. And I can't say that they don't

409
00:31:41.680 --> 00:31:48.000
come up now. It's kind of like it's just something

410
00:31:48.039 --> 00:31:51.920
that's there. But I know that, yes, it does impact

411
00:31:52.440 --> 00:31:56.480
how you are, and the triggers do occur and things

412
00:31:57.440 --> 00:32:02.920
just because the healing has not completed. And so yeah,

413
00:32:03.400 --> 00:32:04.400
I understand that.

414
00:32:05.559 --> 00:32:10.799
And people assume that, Okay, they come to counseling sessions

415
00:32:10.920 --> 00:32:15.200
thinking that, you know, therapists had the miracle.

416
00:32:14.839 --> 00:32:16.400
Pill for trauma.

417
00:32:17.079 --> 00:32:20.720
Okay, So I always educate them and let them know

418
00:32:21.240 --> 00:32:25.680
I am not your healing solution. You're your own healing solution.

419
00:32:26.279 --> 00:32:29.759
I am here to provide you with the resources. Then

420
00:32:30.000 --> 00:32:34.240
you take those resources and you work. Right, working on

421
00:32:34.279 --> 00:32:35.319
your trauma.

422
00:32:35.119 --> 00:32:39.200
Is not easy. It's not an easy journey. It's difficult.

423
00:32:39.559 --> 00:32:43.359
It's actually easier to stay in your trauma than to

424
00:32:43.559 --> 00:32:48.759
work on your trauma. So trauma initially starts as a wound.

425
00:32:48.880 --> 00:32:51.400
I always give this example and I say, you know,

426
00:32:51.440 --> 00:32:53.079
when you're riding your bike, can you.

427
00:32:53.039 --> 00:32:54.119
Fall and you have a scar.

428
00:32:55.799 --> 00:32:58.559
And then I remember as a young person, I would

429
00:32:58.559 --> 00:33:01.200
have a scar and not treat it. And then all

430
00:33:01.240 --> 00:33:03.920
of a sudden, this white puss comes out of it

431
00:33:04.039 --> 00:33:08.559
like it's corected, and then it heals and then it

432
00:33:08.640 --> 00:33:12.599
has this like big patch of you know, you can

433
00:33:12.640 --> 00:33:15.640
see the wound has healed, but you still see the mark.

434
00:33:16.799 --> 00:33:20.279
So trauma is like that. It's you.

435
00:33:20.480 --> 00:33:23.759
It's never gonna go away, Like you're gonna have to

436
00:33:23.920 --> 00:33:25.720
live with those trauma symptoms.

437
00:33:26.200 --> 00:33:26.720
But what.

438
00:33:28.400 --> 00:33:31.680
You need to teach yourself is how to cope with

439
00:33:31.720 --> 00:33:32.799
the trauma symptoms?

440
00:33:32.920 --> 00:33:33.079
Right?

441
00:33:33.240 --> 00:33:34.480
What are you going to do?

442
00:33:35.160 --> 00:33:35.319
Right?

443
00:33:36.400 --> 00:33:36.880
And so.

444
00:33:38.279 --> 00:33:43.119
People don't like to hear that because everybody wants, you know,

445
00:33:43.359 --> 00:33:49.640
like a solution and that right, But it's the experience

446
00:33:49.680 --> 00:33:53.720
of this world is as a result of having the

447
00:33:53.960 --> 00:33:55.279
taking the good with the bad.

448
00:33:56.240 --> 00:33:59.240
So this is life right when when.

449
00:33:59.079 --> 00:34:02.720
You when you people like two people who have been

450
00:34:02.759 --> 00:34:06.799
married for fifty sixty years, I listen to those people

451
00:34:07.319 --> 00:34:13.760
and their experiences because their experiences haven't always been positive.

452
00:34:14.239 --> 00:34:18.840
They've gone through so much, right, But people only see

453
00:34:18.880 --> 00:34:22.400
fifty to sixty years of marriage, right, you don't see

454
00:34:22.400 --> 00:34:25.880
what they've gone through when you don't see the trauma symptoms.

455
00:34:26.199 --> 00:34:31.280
Have you ever watched that movie the Madison of Bridges,

456
00:34:31.320 --> 00:34:33.440
What was it, Bridges of Madison County?

457
00:34:33.559 --> 00:34:34.280
Have you ever seen?

458
00:34:34.599 --> 00:34:34.800
Yes?

459
00:34:34.960 --> 00:34:36.760
I always go.

460
00:34:36.719 --> 00:34:40.400
Back whenever I feel like I'm empty, and you know,

461
00:34:41.000 --> 00:34:45.519
and I need to kind of recharge myself with real

462
00:34:45.599 --> 00:34:49.159
life stories. I always watch movies like that because I

463
00:34:49.239 --> 00:34:54.280
help to understand the reality of people's experiences. And this

464
00:34:54.519 --> 00:34:58.800
is what we need to always. It's all about emotional fuel.

465
00:34:59.199 --> 00:34:59.519
Okay.

466
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:03.679
So when you're empty and trauma has impacted you and

467
00:35:03.719 --> 00:35:07.599
you're empty, you need to go now and find yourself

468
00:35:07.679 --> 00:35:10.880
how to gain the emotional fuel so.

469
00:35:10.760 --> 00:35:13.000
You can survive. Right.

470
00:35:13.480 --> 00:35:15.920
And it could be a best friend that you have

471
00:35:15.960 --> 00:35:19.679
a conversation with. It could be a trip that you.

472
00:35:19.719 --> 00:35:20.360
Need to have.

473
00:35:20.920 --> 00:35:24.360
It could be watching a movie, right, It could be

474
00:35:25.639 --> 00:35:31.440
you know, writing, It could be setting healthy boundaries with

475
00:35:31.559 --> 00:35:35.880
toxic people. So now I'm in that journey myself, personal

476
00:35:35.960 --> 00:35:43.679
journey that I don't connect or befriend people who are

477
00:35:43.719 --> 00:35:48.000
not spiritual. Yes, I choose not to because what I've

478
00:35:48.039 --> 00:35:51.519
noticed is that if you don't have either religion or

479
00:35:51.559 --> 00:35:56.760
spirituality in your life. What happens is that you when

480
00:35:56.800 --> 00:36:00.440
you have a conversation with people who are not connected.

481
00:36:01.639 --> 00:36:02.639
They will.

482
00:36:04.440 --> 00:36:09.159
They will share their toxicity with you, and all of

483
00:36:09.199 --> 00:36:14.800
a sudden, they become resentful towards you for being healed. Yeah,

484
00:36:15.119 --> 00:36:19.599
and they attack you in a different way, like psychologically

485
00:36:19.719 --> 00:36:24.079
and emotionally. And it's not them to blame, it's just

486
00:36:24.519 --> 00:36:27.599
their way of protecting themselves as well.

487
00:36:27.719 --> 00:36:28.320
They want to.

488
00:36:28.320 --> 00:36:32.599
Know are you like them? They want to know, like

489
00:36:33.000 --> 00:36:36.159
you need to act the way they're acting. If you're not,

490
00:36:36.519 --> 00:36:42.360
they will attack you emotionally and psychologically. So I'm at

491
00:36:42.400 --> 00:36:45.880
that stage right now that I don't have many friends

492
00:36:47.159 --> 00:36:49.280
or people that I can connect to.

493
00:36:49.840 --> 00:36:52.920
But I feel like the more we heal ourselves, we.

494
00:36:52.880 --> 00:36:57.119
Will find the people who will help us to heal communally.

495
00:36:57.840 --> 00:37:03.880
Yes, yes, absolutely, and believe me, it's it is real.

496
00:37:04.000 --> 00:37:07.280
And the thing is when you have that spirituality and

497
00:37:07.360 --> 00:37:12.079
you have become healed, you can sense when a person

498
00:37:13.440 --> 00:37:19.039
needs healing. Yes, but then sometimes you can kind of

499
00:37:20.440 --> 00:37:25.119
want to give advice, want to encourage them to do

500
00:37:25.199 --> 00:37:29.239
something to different and you can feel the energy in

501
00:37:29.280 --> 00:37:34.159
the room where that person is upset that you are

502
00:37:34.239 --> 00:37:38.719
even trying to point out that there's a problem and

503
00:37:38.760 --> 00:37:42.760
then want to give them advice and so, you know,

504
00:37:42.920 --> 00:37:46.400
just being you know, having the right words to say

505
00:37:46.880 --> 00:37:51.079
to help them. You know, I mean, you're a great person, this,

506
00:37:51.199 --> 00:37:53.159
that and the other. But you know what I've kind

507
00:37:53.199 --> 00:37:56.440
of noticed. Now tell me if I'm wrong, you know,

508
00:37:57.000 --> 00:38:02.840
and then probably more comes out them what really was

509
00:38:02.920 --> 00:38:08.360
expecting to hear. But sometimes they just need a listening

510
00:38:08.400 --> 00:38:14.320
ear I guess, just somebody to listen that they're suffering.

511
00:38:15.159 --> 00:38:18.639
They're suffering, and it's it's unfortunate, but I think that's

512
00:38:18.679 --> 00:38:22.440
just part of us being human beings. We we do

513
00:38:24.679 --> 00:38:29.800
run into those situations because unless everyone was perfect and

514
00:38:29.840 --> 00:38:33.639
no one was hurting, then we're we're we would well

515
00:38:33.920 --> 00:38:39.440
be paradise. But but since their people are hurting, and

516
00:38:39.440 --> 00:38:43.719
then I see them on social media constantly attacking and

517
00:38:43.840 --> 00:38:47.920
hurting one another, and it's like, why why do you

518
00:38:48.079 --> 00:38:51.119
have to speak in that manner? Why do you need

519
00:38:51.159 --> 00:38:55.440
to I know that I'm frustrated just as much as

520
00:38:55.480 --> 00:39:00.000
you are, but I always have to remember that they're

521
00:39:00.079 --> 00:39:04.119
human and they're always speaking based on their own personal

522
00:39:04.159 --> 00:39:10.000
experiences and if they've had nothing but hard times and

523
00:39:10.599 --> 00:39:15.519
ugliness and rudeness all of their life. How are we

524
00:39:15.679 --> 00:39:20.000
expecting them to be anything different? But we could say, hey,

525
00:39:20.239 --> 00:39:23.760
tell me, tell me a story about you, and you'd

526
00:39:23.800 --> 00:39:27.599
hear it, and then it starts actually telling it. They

527
00:39:27.800 --> 00:39:36.280
even start whoa, Yeah, that's bad. Yeah, but there's another way.

528
00:39:37.440 --> 00:39:41.440
Yeah, And it's okay. It's okay to help people.

529
00:39:41.559 --> 00:39:45.599
It's okay to you know, to help them start their

530
00:39:45.679 --> 00:39:50.440
journey or identify some of those healing healings inside of them,

531
00:39:50.480 --> 00:39:54.679
because it is inside, but it's just you know, buried

532
00:39:55.079 --> 00:40:02.639
under so much pain. Right you can. But sometimes these

533
00:40:02.760 --> 00:40:06.320
individuals need to be ready at the time. So that's

534
00:40:06.360 --> 00:40:09.920
why a lot of people go to therapists or counselors

535
00:40:10.079 --> 00:40:14.599
or psychiatrists, is when they're ready, and we meet with

536
00:40:14.639 --> 00:40:18.800
these individuals when they're ready. Right. But now social media,

537
00:40:18.880 --> 00:40:22.239
a lot of individuals on social media are not ready

538
00:40:22.599 --> 00:40:26.599
for that change. And what it is is that that's

539
00:40:26.599 --> 00:40:29.679
why I wrote the book, is that children are born

540
00:40:29.719 --> 00:40:35.280
with emotional intelligence, which comes from spirituality and other menners,

541
00:40:36.719 --> 00:40:43.760
but they're not born with intellectual you know, intellectual resources,

542
00:40:43.800 --> 00:40:48.400
like they're not born with mental capacity to understand things.

543
00:40:48.719 --> 00:40:51.480
So that's why Layla was always asking questions.

544
00:40:51.760 --> 00:40:55.599
But she knew exactly how that experience felt for herself.

545
00:40:55.960 --> 00:40:59.239
Like she knows that feeling, she just doesn't understand how

546
00:40:59.280 --> 00:41:00.920
to make sense of it.

547
00:41:01.840 --> 00:41:02.039
Right.

548
00:41:02.800 --> 00:41:07.039
So, when let's say you're a young person and you

549
00:41:07.280 --> 00:41:11.400
experience experience all types of toxicity as a young person,

550
00:41:12.719 --> 00:41:19.440
child abuse, you know, parents who are separated, bullying in

551
00:41:19.480 --> 00:41:26.519
the school system, being called names, you know, harassments and

552
00:41:26.679 --> 00:41:33.280
things that me and you also experiences racial profiling, discrimination, prejudice,

553
00:41:33.639 --> 00:41:39.039
all of these factors. Right, growing up with all of

554
00:41:39.079 --> 00:41:43.400
these factors, Guess what what is that child's resources?

555
00:41:43.440 --> 00:41:45.320
Now, it's not healing.

556
00:41:46.280 --> 00:41:50.480
It's all the toxic experience that child had. So they

557
00:41:50.559 --> 00:41:54.760
grow up with those toxicities and then they become adults

558
00:41:55.119 --> 00:41:58.719
and all they do is have those resources and attack

559
00:41:58.840 --> 00:41:59.480
people with it.

560
00:42:00.039 --> 00:42:00.360
Mm hm.

561
00:42:00.840 --> 00:42:02.360
You don't know any better.

562
00:42:02.800 --> 00:42:07.559
Right, right? And and that's that's the whole thing, building

563
00:42:07.599 --> 00:42:13.960
that that foundation, building, you know, those those norms, building

564
00:42:14.000 --> 00:42:19.559
those beliefs, building those internal i would say, internal culture,

565
00:42:20.360 --> 00:42:24.960
so that you do have kindness, you do have compassion,

566
00:42:25.079 --> 00:42:28.199
you do have empathy, you do have care and love,

567
00:42:28.920 --> 00:42:32.840
you know, and because one thing I know, you know

568
00:42:33.000 --> 00:42:38.119
from having children. Children when they're born, they naturally love,

569
00:42:39.079 --> 00:42:42.599
so everything else is being learned. So if we can

570
00:42:42.880 --> 00:42:47.760
just be children again and feel those emotions as children,

571
00:42:47.960 --> 00:42:53.599
we will have that natural compassion, will have that natural love,

572
00:42:53.719 --> 00:42:57.960
will have that natural concern. And when my mother always

573
00:42:58.039 --> 00:43:00.800
used to tell me, you have to step in the

574
00:43:00.840 --> 00:43:06.480
shoes of another person before you decide to determine who

575
00:43:06.559 --> 00:43:09.719
they are and what they are. And I had the

576
00:43:09.760 --> 00:43:14.840
opportunity of stepping personally, walking in the shoes of so

577
00:43:15.000 --> 00:43:19.639
many different situations in my life, and it opens me

578
00:43:19.840 --> 00:43:24.000
up to a level of compassion and giving and understanding

579
00:43:24.079 --> 00:43:28.719
and more than I had when I first started. And

580
00:43:28.800 --> 00:43:32.360
so sometimes the things we go through is to help

581
00:43:32.440 --> 00:43:35.599
us step into the shoes of those that are hurting.

582
00:43:36.119 --> 00:43:40.280
We'll understand more, have more compassion more, and want to

583
00:43:40.320 --> 00:43:45.960
do something about what we're experiencing because we have walked

584
00:43:46.000 --> 00:43:49.880
in their shoes. But if we just spend a day,

585
00:43:50.239 --> 00:43:53.679
spend an hour in the shoes of someone who just

586
00:43:54.199 --> 00:43:57.440
came out of prison, you know, step in the shoes

587
00:43:57.480 --> 00:44:02.639
of someone who is of a different culture or a

588
00:44:02.719 --> 00:44:07.519
different ethnicity, and hear the name calling and here the

589
00:44:08.239 --> 00:44:12.639
ways they're treated, you have a better understanding and more compassion.

590
00:44:13.440 --> 00:44:17.239
I mean, it's just that's how we're that's how we're

591
00:44:17.599 --> 00:44:21.599
really culturally supposed to be treating but another as human beings.

592
00:44:22.119 --> 00:44:27.639
There's only one race human And if we all realize

593
00:44:27.920 --> 00:44:32.480
we were all created by the same creator, yes, for

594
00:44:32.599 --> 00:44:37.400
the same purposes, we would have more compassion, we would

595
00:44:37.440 --> 00:44:40.800
have more understanding, we would have more love for one

596
00:44:40.800 --> 00:44:45.800
another as ways that you know, to to love your

597
00:44:45.840 --> 00:44:49.280
neighbor as you love yourself. If you do that, you're

598
00:44:49.280 --> 00:44:52.280
gonna they're in trouble, You're gonna want to help because

599
00:44:52.320 --> 00:44:56.639
you're gonna want help. Think of yourself being those in

600
00:44:56.639 --> 00:44:57.440
those shoes.

601
00:44:58.079 --> 00:44:58.639
It's just.

602
00:45:00.320 --> 00:45:02.280
I don't have the I don't have the answer of

603
00:45:02.360 --> 00:45:05.960
how you change that. Yeah, it's not like there are

604
00:45:06.199 --> 00:45:11.079
enough churches and senagogue around for people to learning, but

605
00:45:11.159 --> 00:45:15.280
there don't seem to be absorbing the information that would

606
00:45:15.480 --> 00:45:20.320
transform them and more caring beings.

607
00:45:20.880 --> 00:45:21.519
Yeah.

608
00:45:21.880 --> 00:45:25.639
Yeah, And you know, wisdom goes a long way. And

609
00:45:25.719 --> 00:45:30.159
I feel like, you know, fifty years ago, one hundred

610
00:45:30.280 --> 00:45:35.760
years ago, we had more people who were wise, buote

611
00:45:35.880 --> 00:45:42.280
books and you know, who helped change the world with

612
00:45:42.480 --> 00:45:48.920
their stories. Right and right now, though a lot of

613
00:45:49.039 --> 00:45:53.599
people as Franz Finon talks about, we have a lot

614
00:45:53.639 --> 00:45:58.400
of people who are empty vessels, yes, meaning they don't

615
00:45:58.480 --> 00:46:02.480
have that internal capacit city to heal themselves or others,

616
00:46:03.079 --> 00:46:08.800
and so they absorb everything that's happening in social media

617
00:46:09.719 --> 00:46:14.920
in the world and they use it to They usually

618
00:46:15.079 --> 00:46:17.760
use it to benefit themselves.

619
00:46:20.280 --> 00:46:24.679
In the interm instead of in the long term. And

620
00:46:24.920 --> 00:46:28.920
so that supply what I call it.

621
00:46:28.880 --> 00:46:33.199
Right that you know, ongoing supply, negative supply that they're

622
00:46:33.239 --> 00:46:36.920
receiving from social media and the world around them is

623
00:46:37.039 --> 00:46:46.280
causing them long term distress and pain, and it ends

624
00:46:46.400 --> 00:46:51.320
in in in in a situation where it's you feel,

625
00:46:52.000 --> 00:46:56.039
you feel like you know they're gonna go.

626
00:46:56.159 --> 00:46:57.519
Into a deep hole.

627
00:46:59.000 --> 00:47:03.960
Eventually, and there's not a lot of people out there.

628
00:47:03.800 --> 00:47:05.079
To pull them out.

629
00:47:05.639 --> 00:47:09.000
Yes, because they are most of the people that were

630
00:47:09.239 --> 00:47:13.000
of that experience are not with us anymore.

631
00:47:14.320 --> 00:47:21.199
Yes, those voices are missing, those loving poems, those loving songs,

632
00:47:21.239 --> 00:47:26.079
those loving words, they're not there anymore. They're not They

633
00:47:26.079 --> 00:47:28.400
were there when as I was growing up. You heard

634
00:47:28.400 --> 00:47:31.239
them in songs, you heard them in poetry, you heard

635
00:47:31.239 --> 00:47:34.840
them even just discussed, you know, on the television. It

636
00:47:34.920 --> 00:47:37.360
was just part of you know what was going on.

637
00:47:37.519 --> 00:47:43.880
But now the toxicity, the anger, that just some of

638
00:47:43.920 --> 00:47:47.760
the things I feel in my heart. I feel so

639
00:47:48.000 --> 00:47:53.360
sad for the younger generation because they're missing the real

640
00:47:53.840 --> 00:47:57.679
beauty of what life is really about. And there's nothing

641
00:47:57.719 --> 00:48:02.159
more beautiful than scenes someone in need and helping them.

642
00:48:02.760 --> 00:48:06.519
I mean, there's not enough money in the world that

643
00:48:06.760 --> 00:48:10.880
fills your heart as much as reaching out and helping

644
00:48:11.159 --> 00:48:14.679
someone else and watching them come out of their situation,

645
00:48:15.159 --> 00:48:19.519
watching them begin to grow, watching them begin to climb.

646
00:48:20.159 --> 00:48:23.079
I mean, it's just there's there's nothing else that is

647
00:48:23.119 --> 00:48:28.559
more satisfying. And that's why we were were designed the

648
00:48:28.599 --> 00:48:31.840
way we were so that we were constantly helping. I mean,

649
00:48:32.280 --> 00:48:35.519
even helping animals out there that got hit by a

650
00:48:35.559 --> 00:48:39.000
car and they're limping. You rush out there because you

651
00:48:39.199 --> 00:48:42.480
see and feel the pain of this animal. Well, we

652
00:48:42.480 --> 00:48:46.960
should be seeing the pain of each other and rushing

653
00:48:47.079 --> 00:48:52.599
and helping, not continuing and stirring the pot with more toxicity.

654
00:48:52.880 --> 00:48:58.119
And yeah, let me ask how this man let me David. Yeah,

655
00:48:58.320 --> 00:49:01.559
you know, let's let's start acting like we actually got

656
00:49:01.639 --> 00:49:05.159
blood running through our veins. Yeah, our heart is beating,

657
00:49:05.800 --> 00:49:10.960
and that heart should be beating and wanting to bring love. Yes,

658
00:49:12.239 --> 00:49:17.280
such a great conversation. What would you say that in

659
00:49:17.320 --> 00:49:21.840
our last few I would say that.

660
00:49:23.400 --> 00:49:31.159
Always try to manage your emotional fuel on a regular

661
00:49:31.320 --> 00:49:38.639
basis because that is your tool to heal. So three components.

662
00:49:38.840 --> 00:49:44.119
I always focus on self care, journaling, setting healthy boundaries.

663
00:49:44.239 --> 00:49:48.239
If you practice those three rituals, you will able to

664
00:49:48.360 --> 00:49:52.000
manage your trauma symptoms.

665
00:49:52.079 --> 00:49:55.480
Great. Well, this has just been wonderful. I am so

666
00:49:55.679 --> 00:49:59.559
glad you're here, and I know so many people are

667
00:49:59.559 --> 00:50:04.000
finding finding healing just in our conversation today. We thank

668
00:50:04.119 --> 00:50:07.920
everyone for joining us today. A Sharp Outlook us here

669
00:50:08.000 --> 00:50:12.159
every Monday at eleven am Eastern time and eight am

670
00:50:12.320 --> 00:50:16.840
Pacific time. It's a place where we get great guests

671
00:50:17.480 --> 00:50:22.599
giving you lots of information. Why because we want you

672
00:50:22.840 --> 00:50:30.760
to stay informed. I want to thank you for joining

673
00:50:30.840 --> 00:50:33.960
us on a Sharp Outlook. We have been informed and

674
00:50:34.199 --> 00:50:37.719
energized to take the next steps. We have posted links

675
00:50:37.840 --> 00:50:41.400
to websites and videos to learn more on today's topic.

676
00:50:42.000 --> 00:50:44.960
Please join us again next week or another thought for

677
00:50:45.079 --> 00:50:49.960
looking conversation right here on key for HD radio and

678
00:50:50.039 --> 00:50:54.360
Talk for TV. Listen to the podcast on all the

679
00:50:54.440 --> 00:50:58.719
podcast apps, and until next week, stay in forward,