Sept. 15, 2025

Trauma - Healing Forward

Trauma - Healing Forward
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Season 1

Today's podcast is dedicated to providing insights, tools, and stories of resilience for those navigating the journey of trauma recovery. Let’s begin by debunking Myths and Misconceptions. When trying to analyze trauma we need to understand how the brain and the body respond. There is a thing called Cultural Trauma. As a society we need an Understanding of Collective Wounds. That includes listening and exploring how historical and societal events can impact entire communities and generations.

ASharpe Outlook is broadcast live Mondays at 8AM PT on K4HD Radio - Hollywood Talk Radio (www.k4hd.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). ASharpe Outlook TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).

ASharpe Outlook Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.

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WEBVTT

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This program is designed to provide general information with regards

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to the subject matters covered. This information is given with

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the understanding that neither the hosts, guests, sponsors, or station

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are engaged in rendering any specific and personal medical, financial,

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legal counseling, professional service, or any advice. You should seek

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the services of competent professionals before applying or trying any

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suggested ideas.

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Hello, and thank you for tuning in to a Sharp

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Outlook on pay for HD radio and Talk or TV.

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I am Angela Sharp, your host. Our arm chair discussions

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with industry experts will give you the steps, tools and

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information to be successful in business and to prepare you

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to be your best self. Hello, I'm Angela Sharp, and

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welcome to a Sharp Outlook. I'm very excited about this

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program today and I believe you will learn a lot

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about trauma and how to recover from trauma and just

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how to understand others that are going through trauma. So

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welcome to our show, Trauma and Healing Forward. We're dedicated

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to providing insights, tools and stories of resilience for those

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navigating a journey of trauma recovery. Today, we have a

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leading expert in trauma informed care. We will discuss the

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different facets of trauma, from understanding its impact on the

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brain and body to practical strategies for healing and growth.

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We're going to talk about also different types of trauma. Specifically,

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we want to also begin to talk about trauma that

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is cultural trauma that is historical and how it can

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have impacts even on future generations. What is trauma? Let's

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begin by debunking myths and misconceptions by explaining the definition

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of trauma, which differentiates between different types. There's acute, chronic

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complex and when trying to unanalyze trauma, we need to

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understand how the brain and body responds, understanding the fight, flight, freeze,

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and fawn responses that take us to the physiological responses

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to trauma and how they manifest in daily life. There's

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a thing called cultural trauma. As a society, we need

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an understanding of collective wounds that includes exploring how historical

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and societal events can impact entire communities and generations. Learning

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some of the key steps to healing, like retraining the

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brain or community support someone you can call when you're

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in need of help. Prioritize your well being and your

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self care, including setting boundaries, managing your triggers and practicing

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self compassion, identifying and coping with trauma reminders, and as

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you're identifying these triggers, developing coping mechanisms. Staying present in

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the moment and not revisiting the trauma is probably a

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very important thing to consider. Managing your nutrition. Sometimes just

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fueling your body with the right amount of the right

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and appropriate nutrition can help with the mental health. And

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get assistance from dietary you know, doctors or whomever who

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can give you the recommendations of what things that you

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should avoid if you're going or while you're going through trauma.

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One of the biggest things is forgiveness. Forgive yourself and

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forgive others. It sets you're free on to it. And

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then those that are around students, supporting those students who

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have experienced trauma, and getting guidance for educators as how

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to create a trauma informed classroom, a trauma informed school,

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a trauma informed society, a drama informed community, so that

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we're all healing together. If one is hurting, we're all hurting.

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And that's how we should look at situations that people

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are going through. My guest today, Huda Summitur is a

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solution focused coach. She is the owner of Begin to

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Heal Counseling and Consulting Services I Begin to Heal Counseling

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and Consulting Services. The mission is to support individuals, couples,

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and families on their healing journey. They believe in providing

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a safe and nurturing environment where everyone can explore their

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challenges and find paths to wellness. Hudha received a Master

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of Social Work degree and Social Justice and Diversity. She

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has designed over twenty training sessions on alternative healing strategies

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using indigenous and effrocentric frameworks. Hudah is the author, is

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an author and is a compassionate and experienced trauma therapist

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and speaker with over fifteen years of experience. She recognizes

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and integrates the practice of mental health, capacity building and

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harm reduction. Hudah has helped countless individuals heal from various

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forms of trauma. She is passionate about empowering others to

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reclaim their lives after trauma. Houdah's approach is rooted in empathy, culture, sensitivity,

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and evidence based practices. I would like to ask who

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to join me right now so we can begin our

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conversation about how do we recover from trauma? So many

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people are out there that are suffering from various types

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of trauma. So thank you for joining.

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Me, Thank you Angela for having me, thank you for

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summarizing trauma for us, and thank you for inviting me

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to this platform to speak about the solutions as people

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who are of indigenous histories, right, people, how can they

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survive without their indigenous ways of knowing?

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Yes?

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And I feel like when we talk about trauma, we

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focus specifically on the trauma, but there's more to the

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trauma than just focusing on the trauma because looking back

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in history, we all struggle from trauma symptoms, and trauma

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is a spectrum of different experiences, so not one trauma

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experience can actually generalize how we all feel. We all

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go through different stages of trauma and it could happen

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during your childhood or it can happen in your adulthood,

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but it's self identified. And that's where I start the

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healing process from, is from that individual. But recently I've

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looked at the way we support people who are clinicians,

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how we support clients who are of racial lies. The

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set clients who actually focus in on the Indigenous ways

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of knowing. How do we support them? And I realized

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that we, as the clinicians, are the center of this

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healing journey. It's not the person, it's the clinician who's

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the center. Yes, what you provide to your clients determines

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the outcome of their healing journey. If you are not

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versed in the way they think and feel, how can

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you support these individuals?

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Yes, yes, I agree. You know, I when I was

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preparing for this show, it brought took me back to

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the time when I was a foster parent and when

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I first you know, prepared to be a foster parent.

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We went through different classes and a different train and

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things like that. Well, the children that we were going

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to be caring for were indigenous Native Indigenous children, but

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everything that we were learning did not include their background,

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or their traditions or the culture. So me knowing how

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I am, I began to the conversation and I said,

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you know, we're missing a big subject here, We're missing

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a big issue here, and we need to consider these

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different things that are going on in their homes, in

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their lives, and even in society as how they're treated

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by society. Also we need to think about all that

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when we're talking about trying to care for these children,

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and you have to under have an understanding or we're

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going to fail at what we're doing. And so they

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all sounded like they appreciated, but we had to have

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a few more conversations because when I finally had children

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assigned to me, I looked at the file that had

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been put together by the social worker and the things

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that were written down. I thought to myself, I can't

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handle these children. Oh my goodness, this is terrible. So

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I said, ah, I better give it a chance, because

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you know, I know, sometimes people just write things and

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they don't really understand what's going on. I got three

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of the most wonderful children. They were all siblings. They

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were wonderful, they were beautiful, and so I had to

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go back. I went back to the social work agency

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and we had a strong conversation. I said, do you

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know what you just did in this file? Do you

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know these things that you wrote This is not the

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children that are in my home. I don't know who

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this is that you wrote about, but they're not the

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children in my home. And you have to understand you're

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giving this to strangers. Who don't know the children or

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what they're doing, and you're giving them, you know, perceptions

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that are going to make it very difficult for that

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child to heal, for this child to be comfortable, or

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for this child to want to be in that home.

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So you need to be careful about this because this

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here is inappropriate. Yeah, they had to. They had to

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accept that. And I said, and stop the medication, wouldn't

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you because I'm not medicating them. Yes, we're going to

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change their diet, we're going to do some exercise, we're

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going to do and have some love in the home,

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but we're not putting them to sleep every night.

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Yes, So you know, I understand you know the social

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workers' perspective that person who wrote that document, because guess what,

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we're trained to do that, right as social workers. We're

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trained to write these reports from the medical perspective. Right,

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So when you write things from the medicals perspective, you

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dehumanize these individuals. Yes, you depersonalize and you individualize, right,

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So what are you taking out? You're taking out the

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humanity from this report, right, And this is how we're

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trained and our training. I'm not saying it's it's something

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negative I'm saying, this is how we're trained in terms

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of how to do the reports. And it's good because

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now our brain is structured in a way that we

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see things from an inclusive perspective as clinicians, but the

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humanity is missing. Yes, sometimes with our mainstream clients, we

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want to go beyond a certain barrier, but we can't

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because we're obliged to stay within the frame. The framework, Right,

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So you want to go beyond, you want to you

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want to kind of focus in on that person's you know,

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other aspects of healing, but you can't with a lot

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of the mainstream clients because this is not how they function,

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and so you're restricted. But people who are of racialize

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the set, people who practice the indigenous ways of knowing,

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Now there's more clinicians available to practice from their perspective,

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from their understanding, and so I am really excited about

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the change and how people are now able to access

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clinicians who can provide a holistic approach to supporting right

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and provide them with the coping strategies that they need

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rather than just focusing on the mainstream's ways of knowing.

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There was this guy. He was of racialized descent, and

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I always remember him. It's been years since I supported him.

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But he was obsessed with this individual that worked at McDonald's,

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like completely upset, so that individual would call the police,

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he would get arrested, and then he would do the

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same thing over and over again. So I advocated for

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him because he needed more clinical support rather than being

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just in the criminal system. And so what I see

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is that a lot of mainstream organizations don't understand the

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cultural aspects of why individuals are doing what they're doing.

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So this guy felt like these, he was connected spiritually

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with these, with this specific individual that worked at McDonald's.

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So if he got the right person, it would have

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the situation would have been different, right, because they would

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have understood him from his cultural ways of knowing. Yes,

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But they didn't, so they criminalized him. And that's what

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I see a lot is that people are criminalized instead

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of providing with the right solution.

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Yes, yes, and especially you know, like you said, we're

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talking about indigenous you know individuals, and you have you know,

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a clinician that does not know anything about that particular lifestyle,

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what their spiritual beliefs are, even the structure of their

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their home. Know, what do they call their parents, and

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what do they call their grandparents? Like I said, they

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were Native Indigenous, and I didn't bring them in and

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have them call me mom. I'm not her mom. You

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have a mom, and I didn't want to make them

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feel I didn't respect that they did have a mom.

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I said, call me grandma because I know in Native

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culture everybody can be auntie and grandma any elder that

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is helping or caring or something like that. So they

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called me grandma and we just got along beautifully. And

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I explained it to the group of foster parents when

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we would have our meetings. Stop trying to afford because

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they were, you know, complain that they're not calling me mom,

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You're not their mother. Stop treating them. It's just disrespectful

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for you to make these children call you mom when

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they have a mother, as if you have just tossed

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their parents away. Yes, their parents going through some issues. Yes,

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those parents, you know, need some counseling, need some treatment,

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but they still exist, so don't you know, and especially

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when you're trying to force them. If it comes naturally,

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that's one thing, but if it doesn't, then stop doing that.

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It's so wrong and you don't understand the culture and

225
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what you're doing to them when you are just trying

226
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to toss away family members, you know, like they don't exist.

227
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And so you know, there's just you know, little things

228
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like that that they you know, they need, they need

229
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to understand. If you're going to be taking indigenous people in,

230
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you need to get some books or have someone go

231
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and be involved and see what's going on, you know,

232
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in their communities, because you know, you can't call things

233
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evil when you don't understand it. You can't call things

234
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bad when you don't even.

235
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Know what it is.

236
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These things are. You know, you're bringing on your perspective,

237
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but you haven't been exposed to anything else but your backyard. Yes,

238
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now you're trying to force them to be that and

239
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you can't. And yes, you're going to end up a

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conflict because they're still fighting to keep their identity. Yes,

241
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and so it's yeah, it's.

242
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Yeah, and it's not. Sometimes we forget right, we think

243
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about the mind and we think about the heart, yes,

244
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but we forget about our genes, our genetics. Our genes

245
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are connected to our ancestors. So how we heal is

246
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also connected to our ancestors. Yes, and so if we

247
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heal in the wrong way, it actually can cause a

248
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negative effect on our body, on our mind. Yes, so

249
00:19:02.839 --> 00:19:09.960
anything that goes against our healing, any anything that is

250
00:19:10.200 --> 00:19:16.279
of something that where you're not used to can impact

251
00:19:16.839 --> 00:19:23.079
how we holistically heal as human beings. So if we

252
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disconnect from that, and a lot of a lot of

253
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like new immigrants, a lot of people who are second

254
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sorry first generation immigrants, feel that they sometimes have to

255
00:19:36.960 --> 00:19:41.000
abide by the ways of this country, and so they

256
00:19:41.119 --> 00:19:46.359
lose that connection with their ancestors, with their with their

257
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knowledge base from from their tradition, culture and religion. They

258
00:19:52.759 --> 00:19:57.960
disconnect from that. So you see a lot of people

259
00:19:58.240 --> 00:20:05.759
who are having trauma symptoms not because they've been impacted

260
00:20:05.799 --> 00:20:11.799
in certain ways, but because they've disconnected from what they

261
00:20:11.920 --> 00:20:17.839
know what their body needs. There's a term called a

262
00:20:17.880 --> 00:20:25.160
culturation that was introduced to me by a professor, a

263
00:20:25.160 --> 00:20:30.359
Somali professor who teaches in the University of Minnesota. So

264
00:20:30.400 --> 00:20:35.480
she introduced me to this term called a culturation, and

265
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a culturation is having two different perspectives in the household.

266
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So one that's connected to the mainstream ways of knowing

267
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and one that's connected to the indigenous ways of knowing,

268
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and so those two are clashing. No one's teaching them

269
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to unite based on the indigenous ways of knowing, right,

270
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based on their ways of knowing. So these these children

271
00:21:04.599 --> 00:21:09.200
disconnected from their roots, from their ways, and then you

272
00:21:09.400 --> 00:21:17.240
see them not being functional, functional in society. They can't

273
00:21:17.279 --> 00:21:21.599
function in mainstream because they don't know who they are.

274
00:21:22.160 --> 00:21:27.960
Yes, yes, yes, that's really true. And it's and that's

275
00:21:28.000 --> 00:21:31.400
a that's an internal struggle that they're fighting besides anything

276
00:21:31.440 --> 00:21:36.559
else that might be impacting them, because you know, everyone

277
00:21:36.640 --> 00:21:39.119
even now is still trying to figure out who am I?

278
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Where did I come from? Who are my ancestors, especially

279
00:21:44.519 --> 00:21:49.400
those that you know were brought here you know, historically

280
00:21:49.440 --> 00:21:54.880
we're brought here on ships to become slaves. They're still

281
00:21:54.880 --> 00:21:58.000
trying to identify who am I? But yet there's something

282
00:21:58.000 --> 00:22:01.839
in the DNA that's still calling you have a family,

283
00:22:02.039 --> 00:22:05.279
you have ancestors, you have this and that is that

284
00:22:05.480 --> 00:22:10.920
causes a lot of confusion inside, you know, when you

285
00:22:11.279 --> 00:22:15.960
have been taught so many other things about that society

286
00:22:16.039 --> 00:22:20.240
and now you're trying to connect to it. Now you

287
00:22:20.759 --> 00:22:23.599
I mean, you don't know where your allegiance is. I mean,

288
00:22:23.759 --> 00:22:26.200
I don't I'm not sure if they can merge. I

289
00:22:26.240 --> 00:22:28.799
think they could probably merge, but it has to be

290
00:22:29.359 --> 00:22:34.039
something that's acceptable to merge the cultures together. Why not

291
00:22:34.279 --> 00:22:37.240
respect both of them. I mean, why do we have

292
00:22:37.359 --> 00:22:39.559
to say you have to be like me. I don't

293
00:22:39.559 --> 00:22:43.960
think so. I think when the Creator created humans, he

294
00:22:44.079 --> 00:22:47.480
made them different. Look at everything that's out there. If

295
00:22:47.519 --> 00:22:50.640
he wanted everything that's saying, we'd have one type of bird,

296
00:22:50.880 --> 00:22:53.400
one type of tree, one type of fish, we would

297
00:22:53.440 --> 00:22:57.839
get bored with life. Variety is the spice of life,

298
00:22:58.160 --> 00:23:01.640
and he made things so there's variety, and we are

299
00:23:01.759 --> 00:23:07.200
considered a variety of what he has created and accepting

300
00:23:08.000 --> 00:23:11.640
you know that we have. We all are different, and

301
00:23:11.759 --> 00:23:16.839
learning from each other's differences is really important and it's

302
00:23:17.039 --> 00:23:20.400
very special. I mean, I enjoy learning about other cultures,

303
00:23:20.680 --> 00:23:25.039
and I think just sharing all of that information in fact,

304
00:23:25.480 --> 00:23:28.759
be on us. If we related more with each other,

305
00:23:29.400 --> 00:23:32.319
we would have any diseases in the world. Because there's

306
00:23:32.359 --> 00:23:35.920
so many indigenous that have so many things that they

307
00:23:36.000 --> 00:23:41.799
already have passed through in their culture and in their

308
00:23:42.519 --> 00:23:47.480
teachings and in their healing teachings. That a tea here,

309
00:23:47.599 --> 00:23:50.720
a root, there are fruit here, and I'll tell you,

310
00:23:51.720 --> 00:23:57.279
we wouldn't have diseases. But because we challenge one another

311
00:23:57.359 --> 00:24:01.200
instead of communicating with one another, no one sharing and

312
00:24:01.240 --> 00:24:05.400
so guess what the rest everybody else is suffering the

313
00:24:05.519 --> 00:24:09.480
things that don't need because we can't talk. That doesn't

314
00:24:09.480 --> 00:24:10.200
make sense to me.

315
00:24:11.279 --> 00:24:17.640
Yeah. So another aspect of trauma, right, it's it's an

316
00:24:17.720 --> 00:24:24.240
ongoing trauma experience that only people have racialized the set understand,

317
00:24:25.480 --> 00:24:31.480
So that ongoing battle that we have that is that

318
00:24:31.519 --> 00:24:39.279
has caused us trauma is not spoken about in in

319
00:24:39.279 --> 00:24:45.559
in therapeutic settings, right, So you as a as a clinician,

320
00:24:45.839 --> 00:24:51.640
will be focused on that individual, but there's other factors

321
00:24:51.720 --> 00:24:59.440
influencing that individual. That individual has a lot of societal

322
00:25:04.319 --> 00:25:10.519
issues that they're going through. So you might have somebody

323
00:25:10.920 --> 00:25:18.319
who's experiencing racism for example, somebody who is being marginalized

324
00:25:18.359 --> 00:25:24.039
because they can't speak the language, the English language. Somebody

325
00:25:24.079 --> 00:25:31.440
who you know is has family abroad and is isolated here.

326
00:25:33.240 --> 00:25:37.799
So there's so many factors that are not spoken about

327
00:25:37.960 --> 00:25:42.960
in terms of trauma. Right. Trauma is not only impact,

328
00:25:43.200 --> 00:25:49.359
it's also experienced, and so these individuals are in crisis

329
00:25:49.440 --> 00:25:52.640
all the time in terms of how they think and

330
00:25:52.680 --> 00:25:59.680
how they function, and then this whole thing about you know, finance.

331
00:26:01.000 --> 00:26:04.519
You know, Franz Fenanen was a psychiatrist, and he was

332
00:26:04.640 --> 00:26:10.680
also racially profiled as a clinician as somebody who was

333
00:26:10.680 --> 00:26:14.880
a psychiatrist back in the day. And so france Fan

334
00:26:15.200 --> 00:26:21.079
talks about dehumanizing, depersonalizing, and individualizing. And when he wrote

335
00:26:21.519 --> 00:26:26.759
about these three things, these three frameworks, he understood that

336
00:26:26.799 --> 00:26:31.680
the colonizer's work was not only in terms of huge

337
00:26:32.039 --> 00:26:39.920
like countries and settings, but it also impacted the individual. Yes,

338
00:26:40.759 --> 00:26:45.799
So all of these different entities that we are under,

339
00:26:46.480 --> 00:26:51.039
which is for example, the social work, the hospitals, the

340
00:26:51.079 --> 00:26:56.240
prison systems, you know, all of these systems are a

341
00:26:56.359 --> 00:27:02.279
descendants from the colonizer. So they function in the same

342
00:27:02.400 --> 00:27:08.200
way to dehumanize, to depersonalize to individuals. That's their function.

343
00:27:09.039 --> 00:27:14.640
So how are these systems able to help.

344
00:27:14.480 --> 00:27:15.640
Us heal.

345
00:27:17.039 --> 00:27:20.359
Unless we formulate something parallel.

346
00:27:20.519 --> 00:27:22.680
Yes, to these systems.

347
00:27:23.599 --> 00:27:27.319
So that is what the indigenous ways of knowing is.

348
00:27:27.400 --> 00:27:31.440
It's a parallel system to the your centric.

349
00:27:31.079 --> 00:27:37.200
System, right, and even though it's hard for them for

350
00:27:37.319 --> 00:27:41.359
us to merge the two, we.

351
00:27:41.279 --> 00:27:44.279
Do it in a way that we find that your

352
00:27:44.440 --> 00:27:50.079
centric system structure. We can use that structure, but use

353
00:27:50.400 --> 00:27:58.559
this framework to help our clients heal. And now, like

354
00:27:59.279 --> 00:28:02.680
in Canada the United States, more and more people are

355
00:28:02.759 --> 00:28:07.400
understanding that we need to heal our people or racialized

356
00:28:07.480 --> 00:28:13.160
people using a different ways, different ways of knowing. So

357
00:28:13.720 --> 00:28:15.920
it's hard, Angela.

358
00:28:16.319 --> 00:28:23.240
Oh, you know, I'm There's a movie out called Sugarcane.

359
00:28:23.640 --> 00:28:26.640
It's a documentary and I watched it last night and

360
00:28:26.680 --> 00:28:32.480
it was a story about the residential schools in Canada

361
00:28:32.799 --> 00:28:36.880
and the abuses and different things that went on for

362
00:28:37.039 --> 00:28:39.960
all of those children. And I had like three generations

363
00:28:40.400 --> 00:28:43.759
that we're talking about that had gone to the schools,

364
00:28:43.920 --> 00:28:47.640
or they were birthed at the schools, or you know,

365
00:28:48.319 --> 00:28:51.119
their parents had gone, grandparents had been there or whatever.

366
00:28:51.720 --> 00:28:56.640
And just even going to the point of even trying

367
00:28:56.680 --> 00:29:01.640
to do reconciliation, it was so hard because the trauma

368
00:29:01.799 --> 00:29:05.519
was so deep and had had been ignored for such

369
00:29:05.559 --> 00:29:09.599
a long time. One word I'm sorry wasn't going to

370
00:29:09.640 --> 00:29:13.640
be enough. There was too much that had had gone on.

371
00:29:14.440 --> 00:29:19.880
And unless we understand, like you said, put the humanity back.

372
00:29:20.079 --> 00:29:23.119
I don't know what happened that we just take we're

373
00:29:23.200 --> 00:29:26.680
human beings. Why are we trying to treat people like

374
00:29:26.759 --> 00:29:30.519
we would our animals. We are human beings, and so

375
00:29:30.599 --> 00:29:33.119
when we take that out, we just lose the whole

376
00:29:33.160 --> 00:29:38.440
concept of actually reaching their inner being, which is what

377
00:29:38.480 --> 00:29:41.440
we should be doing. And I watched that. I cried

378
00:29:41.480 --> 00:29:46.440
almost through the whole documentary because it was to see

379
00:29:46.480 --> 00:29:51.480
these older people still struggling to be whole, still struggling

380
00:29:51.920 --> 00:29:59.440
to be free. That was heartbreaking. Yeah, and so.

381
00:30:01.200 --> 00:30:04.559
Yeah, it is worth breaking. And I'm going to share

382
00:30:04.559 --> 00:30:10.960
a secret with you. I feel like all clinicians should

383
00:30:11.000 --> 00:30:16.200
start out working in crisis first before they're clinicians. I

384
00:30:16.240 --> 00:30:23.079
feel like when you work as a crisis responder, you

385
00:30:23.160 --> 00:30:26.599
see a lot. You see a lot of trauma. You

386
00:30:26.640 --> 00:30:32.240
see people that can't afford you know, counseling or therapy.

387
00:30:32.759 --> 00:30:36.759
You see people who are struggling with alcoholism. You see

388
00:30:36.839 --> 00:30:42.079
people who have fine family dynamics that are unhealthy. You

389
00:30:42.160 --> 00:30:46.279
see a lot of rape victims. And most of these

390
00:30:46.319 --> 00:30:51.920
people now that access crisis are racialized people. Yes, they're

391
00:30:51.920 --> 00:30:58.279
the same people you're talking about, actually, and because they've

392
00:30:58.279 --> 00:31:04.319
been dehumanized at a very young age, they're you. They're

393
00:31:04.359 --> 00:31:08.240
looking for other ways to heal, negative ways to heal.

394
00:31:09.319 --> 00:31:13.160
So alcoholism is part of those that negative ways. They

395
00:31:13.200 --> 00:31:19.839
gravitate towards that. Yes, right, and so what do we

396
00:31:19.920 --> 00:31:24.000
do with these type of people that are struggling. Oh,

397
00:31:24.039 --> 00:31:30.119
go to rehab, right, go to detox, you know, go

398
00:31:30.240 --> 00:31:34.839
and access counseling. But what they really need is to

399
00:31:35.119 --> 00:31:40.920
find themselves. Yeah, we're trying to gain some sort of

400
00:31:41.519 --> 00:31:45.599
happiness satisfaction through these negative hoping strategies.

401
00:31:46.079 --> 00:31:47.240
Yeah.

402
00:31:46.759 --> 00:31:49.799
Yeah, but they don't know themselves. Yeah.

403
00:31:50.480 --> 00:31:54.720
I had uncles that they had gone to the military.

404
00:31:55.480 --> 00:31:59.440
I don't I know. Being in war, was in World

405
00:31:59.440 --> 00:32:04.599
War two. Being in war is very difficult. But then

406
00:32:04.720 --> 00:32:06.480
there were a lot of things they were coping with.

407
00:32:06.559 --> 00:32:13.279
I didn't find out until I was much older, and

408
00:32:13.359 --> 00:32:20.799
I'm sadden because they became alcoholics. Brilliant men, mathematicians and

409
00:32:21.599 --> 00:32:27.079
one worked at Nassau, I mean brilliant, intelligent, but they drank.

410
00:32:27.160 --> 00:32:30.519
And I think it was to cope with the war.

411
00:32:31.160 --> 00:32:33.400
And then what happened when they came back from the

412
00:32:33.400 --> 00:32:37.519
war and the broken promises that they did not get

413
00:32:37.519 --> 00:32:41.559
the benefits that they were promised because they were indigenous.

414
00:32:42.160 --> 00:32:46.160
And I watched them not be who I knew they

415
00:32:46.200 --> 00:32:50.319
could be, and I didn't understand it because I was

416
00:32:50.319 --> 00:32:52.599
the baby of the family, so I didn't understand. I

417
00:32:52.680 --> 00:32:57.400
just saw them. But my mother was always loving, never judgmental,

418
00:32:57.960 --> 00:33:01.799
very understanding. You just needed to clean up before you came,

419
00:33:01.960 --> 00:33:04.160
but she would all they would come by the house

420
00:33:04.200 --> 00:33:06.880
and she would feed them a warm meal and make

421
00:33:06.920 --> 00:33:10.559
sure that they were taken care of. But I watched

422
00:33:10.599 --> 00:33:15.440
that and it made me go to the alcohol drug

423
00:33:15.440 --> 00:33:19.759
treatment centers and counsel and work with them and talk

424
00:33:19.799 --> 00:33:23.559
with them and share with them and learn more so

425
00:33:23.599 --> 00:33:25.920
that I had a better understanding about my own family

426
00:33:25.960 --> 00:33:32.240
members and helping them understand. And it is a coping

427
00:33:33.039 --> 00:33:36.319
method of their trying to deaden the pain, is what

428
00:33:36.359 --> 00:33:39.519
they're trying to do. And I'm not a therapist. I

429
00:33:39.640 --> 00:33:44.799
just have watched this for numerous years as being a child,

430
00:33:44.920 --> 00:33:47.960
growing up and then even working at the treatment centers.

431
00:33:48.640 --> 00:33:51.839
They're coping with pain and they don't know any other

432
00:33:51.920 --> 00:33:53.759
way because they don't have no one to go to

433
00:33:54.240 --> 00:33:59.440
that understands what's happening and how to reach them and

434
00:33:59.480 --> 00:34:05.799
reach the heart of them and help them understand, Okay,

435
00:34:05.839 --> 00:34:08.519
you made a bad choice, but now you get to

436
00:34:08.559 --> 00:34:11.920
make a different choice and you forget about that one

437
00:34:11.960 --> 00:34:15.920
that made the bad choice and start spending your energy

438
00:34:16.519 --> 00:34:19.440
on the one that on the good choices that you've made.

439
00:34:19.519 --> 00:34:22.519
And watched the changes and I saw different ones their

440
00:34:22.559 --> 00:34:27.199
lives change. They ended up going to college and just

441
00:34:27.360 --> 00:34:31.079
I mean, some good things happen, but you have to

442
00:34:31.119 --> 00:34:36.039
really dig deep to get past the wall that's there,

443
00:34:37.000 --> 00:34:40.519
and then the guilt that they keep putting on themselves,

444
00:34:41.159 --> 00:34:46.960
and just understanding, you know, the fact that they have

445
00:34:47.320 --> 00:34:50.760
hurt people and they don't know how to say I'm sorry,

446
00:34:51.599 --> 00:34:54.119
and they don't know how to feel that that person

447
00:34:54.239 --> 00:34:58.480
will receive them back forgiveness. This forgiveness, if you say

448
00:34:58.519 --> 00:35:03.719
I'm sorry, goes away. Don't carry it along with you

449
00:35:04.199 --> 00:35:09.760
because when the person says I receive your you know, apology,

450
00:35:10.360 --> 00:35:14.559
it's done. It's gone. Don't go back there anymore. Let

451
00:35:14.599 --> 00:35:21.440
it go. But yeah, how important is it for self

452
00:35:21.480 --> 00:35:24.639
care and trauma recovery process?

453
00:35:24.960 --> 00:35:33.000
Big time? So it's it's uh, my language. When I'm

454
00:35:33.039 --> 00:35:39.480
speaking to individuals and I'm doing counseling with them, it's emotional.

455
00:35:39.960 --> 00:35:43.840
It's okay, So we have cognition and then we have

456
00:35:43.880 --> 00:35:47.400
emotional intelligence. So I use a lot of my emotional

457
00:35:47.559 --> 00:35:53.840
intelligence during counseling sessions because I feel like that's, first

458
00:35:53.880 --> 00:35:56.239
of all, that's who I am, and I feel like

459
00:35:56.440 --> 00:36:00.480
I can get a lot of people to understan where

460
00:36:00.480 --> 00:36:03.719
I'm coming from when I use my emotional intelligence than

461
00:36:03.760 --> 00:36:09.760
when I just focusing on my cognition. And so I

462
00:36:09.760 --> 00:36:14.639
came up with three strategies when I'm providing support to people,

463
00:36:14.880 --> 00:36:18.639
and this is across the board, this is what people

464
00:36:18.719 --> 00:36:25.679
are missing. Number one is self care. Anybody who is

465
00:36:25.719 --> 00:36:30.320
struggling to heal is lacking in self care. Number two

466
00:36:30.920 --> 00:36:37.320
is journaling. Number three is setting healthy boundaries. Right. So,

467
00:36:39.320 --> 00:36:42.960
when I was young, I watched a lot of Disney movies.

468
00:36:45.960 --> 00:36:49.360
Disney so I'm one of those people I like to

469
00:36:49.480 --> 00:36:53.880
get down to the nitty gritty, like why did Disney

470
00:36:53.920 --> 00:36:58.239
come up with Happily Ever After? Endings? Right? And I

471
00:36:58.440 --> 00:37:02.440
was like, what what is the satisfaction people get from

472
00:37:02.559 --> 00:37:09.239
Happily ever After? Endings? Right? And so I thought about

473
00:37:09.280 --> 00:37:12.360
it and I said, the reason why is that the

474
00:37:12.440 --> 00:37:16.280
brain needs to close that toxic conversation that it's having

475
00:37:16.320 --> 00:37:22.000
in its head. So remember Disney talks about a lot

476
00:37:22.039 --> 00:37:27.599
of like struggles in needs kids' movies. And then towards

477
00:37:27.639 --> 00:37:32.480
the end, he gives us happily ever after, and this

478
00:37:32.559 --> 00:37:36.039
is what our brain needs. It needs happily ever after.

479
00:37:37.079 --> 00:37:42.760
Journaling is good for that. So even though it's not real,

480
00:37:42.920 --> 00:37:47.920
the brain can't understand real from unreal. So you close

481
00:37:48.039 --> 00:37:52.840
that conversation that's happening in your head by writing down

482
00:37:53.280 --> 00:37:57.440
a happily ever after ending. So let's say you blame

483
00:37:57.519 --> 00:38:00.280
your mom for all this toxicity that happened you, and

484
00:38:00.320 --> 00:38:04.320
your mom is no longer here, like she passed away,

485
00:38:04.360 --> 00:38:08.719
and you still live with that pain. Right, you give

486
00:38:08.800 --> 00:38:13.199
yourself that happily ever after ending, and the brain closes

487
00:38:13.239 --> 00:38:18.199
that conversation because that's what the brain knows too. Self care.

488
00:38:18.800 --> 00:38:24.559
Self care is our emotional fuel. If you survive your

489
00:38:24.639 --> 00:38:28.079
day to day activities, you need to give yourself self care.

490
00:38:29.480 --> 00:38:34.159
So I prescribe myself three self cares a day, meaning

491
00:38:34.199 --> 00:38:37.800
that I would do random things like watch Netflix or

492
00:38:37.960 --> 00:38:44.280
go for a walk. There's these group of Italian elders

493
00:38:45.000 --> 00:38:50.239
at the mall and I'm like, they're the typical example

494
00:38:50.280 --> 00:38:53.679
of self care. They come with their desserts and their

495
00:38:53.719 --> 00:38:56.880
coffee and they start talking. They talk for two hours

496
00:38:58.639 --> 00:39:01.960
and then they pick up their garbage and they go home.

497
00:39:03.320 --> 00:39:06.400
That's their self care. Every day. If I ever go

498
00:39:06.440 --> 00:39:10.880
to the mall, I will see them. It's twenty folks

499
00:39:11.559 --> 00:39:16.840
have sit at one corner the other half, so Angela,

500
00:39:17.000 --> 00:39:19.760
they the men sit at one corner and then the

501
00:39:19.800 --> 00:39:24.119
women's so because the conversations are not the same, right, right,

502
00:39:24.199 --> 00:39:33.000
So self care, whatever self care that you are doing,

503
00:39:33.320 --> 00:39:37.360
is the self care that's work for you, right. Healthcare

504
00:39:37.800 --> 00:39:41.639
is guess what. When a child is young, they understand

505
00:39:42.800 --> 00:39:47.480
self care. They automatically gravitate towards self care. They go

506
00:39:47.599 --> 00:39:51.920
bike riding, they do all kinds of activities. But we

507
00:39:52.159 --> 00:39:56.320
grow up, we forget about self care. In order for

508
00:39:56.480 --> 00:40:00.760
you to heal holistically, you need to engage in self care.

509
00:40:02.199 --> 00:40:05.119
People who don't engage in self care are the ones

510
00:40:05.199 --> 00:40:11.840
you see crying chronically, sporadically, crying all the time, having

511
00:40:12.880 --> 00:40:16.599
chronic illnesses as a result of lack of self care.

512
00:40:17.280 --> 00:40:20.559
All these chronic illnesses that we struggle with is as

513
00:40:20.599 --> 00:40:25.360
a result of lack of self care. And the last

514
00:40:25.800 --> 00:40:29.960
boundaries and you know, I won't get into boundaries because

515
00:40:30.239 --> 00:40:35.960
boundaries are you know, they're they're self identified and individual

516
00:40:36.960 --> 00:40:41.920
based on the person's needs. But the other two very important.

517
00:40:42.079 --> 00:40:45.840
You want to get rid of toxic conversations happening in

518
00:40:45.880 --> 00:40:49.440
your head. Journal. You want to gain emotional fuel, just

519
00:40:49.559 --> 00:40:53.119
like a car needs fuel. Engage in self care.

520
00:40:54.599 --> 00:40:59.000
Okay, I'm going to pick up some of those I

521
00:40:59.000 --> 00:41:02.000
can see where I can just drive myself and I'm

522
00:41:02.039 --> 00:41:05.480
not taking that time out for me, and I do,

523
00:41:05.960 --> 00:41:12.159
I do end up feeling the body react and start

524
00:41:12.199 --> 00:41:14.760
fighting me back, and it's like, uh uh, nope, I'm

525
00:41:14.760 --> 00:41:17.800
going to do nothing this whole day. It's my day

526
00:41:18.280 --> 00:41:21.239
because I just need to take care of me and

527
00:41:21.639 --> 00:41:22.320
nothing else.

528
00:41:22.639 --> 00:41:27.239
And so even spraying a perfume on yourself, like just

529
00:41:28.079 --> 00:41:32.639
that care Yeah, just just something that weren't planning that

530
00:41:32.760 --> 00:41:35.159
day and just saying I'm going to take this time

531
00:41:35.199 --> 00:41:35.960
out just for me.

532
00:41:36.599 --> 00:41:39.320
I'm going to do that more. Yeah, I like that.

533
00:41:40.320 --> 00:41:46.920
How what role does community and social support play in

534
00:41:47.039 --> 00:41:48.800
healing a lot?

535
00:41:50.119 --> 00:41:55.639
Remember what's the opposite of individualization, right, it's community. So

536
00:41:55.920 --> 00:42:00.440
everything that Frantz Flann talked about, do the opposite, because

537
00:42:00.480 --> 00:42:04.800
that's what the eurocentric system is trying to disconnect you from.

538
00:42:04.960 --> 00:42:10.039
Its disconnecting you from community, is disconnecting from you from

539
00:42:10.440 --> 00:42:14.679
you know, helping each other in a communal way. So

540
00:42:14.760 --> 00:42:17.639
for example, when you go to your doctor's office, and

541
00:42:17.719 --> 00:42:20.400
let's say you have a family of five, that doctor,

542
00:42:20.480 --> 00:42:24.360
if that child is above a certain age, that doctor

543
00:42:24.519 --> 00:42:27.239
will suggest for that child to go into the room

544
00:42:27.320 --> 00:42:31.280
individually and not go with the parent. But maybe the

545
00:42:31.360 --> 00:42:34.880
parent knows more about the child than the child, than

546
00:42:34.920 --> 00:42:39.000
the child himself or herself. Why don't you allow that?

547
00:42:39.639 --> 00:42:42.119
Why don't you allow this child to go in there

548
00:42:42.119 --> 00:42:45.920
with the parent even though he's he's he or she

549
00:42:46.639 --> 00:42:52.440
is twenty or nineteen or eighteen. Right, But communal healing

550
00:42:53.039 --> 00:42:57.599
is very important because that is the indigenous ways, right.

551
00:42:58.239 --> 00:43:06.360
And so I've seen women and I call it the

552
00:43:06.360 --> 00:43:12.440
the Cinderella transformation people in our community. When they're going

553
00:43:12.480 --> 00:43:20.960
to weddings, it's like everybody transforms into this like beautiful

554
00:43:21.159 --> 00:43:27.880
lavish like you know, I don't know, like just they're

555
00:43:27.920 --> 00:43:31.079
so beautiful. They're so beautiful, like the way they're dressed,

556
00:43:31.079 --> 00:43:36.159
the makeup, and and then they go home and that

557
00:43:36.360 --> 00:43:40.880
dress is off again. But when they go to these functions,

558
00:43:40.920 --> 00:43:44.239
it's all about dance, it's about it's all about communication,

559
00:43:44.400 --> 00:43:49.440
it's all about energy, positive energy. And some of these

560
00:43:49.840 --> 00:43:53.639
females go to weddings like once a week or twice

561
00:43:53.679 --> 00:43:57.519
a week. But there are those that don't go anywhere

562
00:43:57.920 --> 00:44:03.840
that you can tell that there's struggling, right, part of

563
00:44:04.519 --> 00:44:08.679
my journey, So begin to heal. People think it's an

564
00:44:08.880 --> 00:44:14.639
organization or it's a name that I gave my organization, right,

565
00:44:15.679 --> 00:44:20.239
but begin to heal is my journey. Is my journey

566
00:44:20.280 --> 00:44:26.000
to give back. And so when you're working as a clinician,

567
00:44:27.079 --> 00:44:30.320
a lot of energy is taken away from you. So

568
00:44:30.400 --> 00:44:35.360
what I do is I organize community events, free community events,

569
00:44:35.920 --> 00:44:39.639
and that's for people to benefit from my knowledge, but

570
00:44:39.719 --> 00:44:46.639
as well as to come together and heal together. The

571
00:44:46.679 --> 00:44:51.480
only way for us to completely heal is through communal settings.

572
00:44:52.719 --> 00:44:56.360
That is what our body knows. That is our ancestral

573
00:44:56.920 --> 00:45:00.079
ways of knowing. I don't know if you know, but

574
00:45:00.719 --> 00:45:06.119
even like with the indigenous people right back in the

575
00:45:06.239 --> 00:45:10.559
day when they were practicing, like let's say they were practicing,

576
00:45:11.400 --> 00:45:15.400
did you see them like they were always in a circle.

577
00:45:16.719 --> 00:45:20.840
And the circle means that nobody is above nobody, right,

578
00:45:21.119 --> 00:45:22.480
everybody is.

579
00:45:22.559 --> 00:45:24.119
Equal mm hmm.

580
00:45:24.639 --> 00:45:30.679
And so and they don't interrupt each other. They speak

581
00:45:31.239 --> 00:45:35.719
every when when one person speaks, everybody is listening mm hmm.

582
00:45:37.480 --> 00:45:42.159
And I see that as a non existent practice in

583
00:45:42.239 --> 00:45:46.719
this day and age, right, right, I feel like children

584
00:45:47.000 --> 00:45:51.679
are not listened to mm hmm, even though they have so.

585
00:45:51.920 --> 00:45:55.239
Much to share with us when they're young, because their

586
00:45:55.239 --> 00:45:59.960
heart is so clean. Mm hmmm. I feel like teenager

587
00:46:00.320 --> 00:46:03.639
who do the wrong thing are criminalized. Like if they

588
00:46:03.760 --> 00:46:10.920
go and steal from a local, let's say, store, should

589
00:46:10.960 --> 00:46:15.119
they be criminalized at the age of thirteen or should

590
00:46:15.159 --> 00:46:22.360
they be supported? Right? So, there's a lot of like

591
00:46:23.880 --> 00:46:29.599
activities happening to dehumanize us more than to dehumanize us.

592
00:46:31.639 --> 00:46:33.679
I don't know if you've seen this on social media,

593
00:46:33.800 --> 00:46:37.559
but there's this guy that gives away cards with things

594
00:46:37.599 --> 00:46:42.400
written on them, like randomly in like to people outside,

595
00:46:42.840 --> 00:46:47.679
and he writes these notes, and these notes are for

596
00:46:47.760 --> 00:46:51.559
him to make a connection, and so he writes like

597
00:46:51.760 --> 00:46:55.960
empowering words or like motivations on those cards and he

598
00:46:56.039 --> 00:47:02.280
gives them away, and the trend information in people's facial

599
00:47:02.360 --> 00:47:07.559
expressions when he get when they read that note is amazing. Yeah,

600
00:47:07.840 --> 00:47:10.400
so I think we're missing the connection, like.

601
00:47:10.480 --> 00:47:15.599
You to connect. Yeah, the spirituality too. Sometimes you do

602
00:47:16.000 --> 00:47:19.039
see someone and they just they just want to They

603
00:47:19.079 --> 00:47:22.400
just say a specific word and it can change that

604
00:47:22.440 --> 00:47:26.480
person that's on the bus, just sitting there across for them.

605
00:47:27.079 --> 00:47:30.599
And and we were not tuned in to that that

606
00:47:30.960 --> 00:47:35.800
spiritual part of us, that that receives that that message,

607
00:47:36.119 --> 00:47:39.159
and that message isn't always for us, it's to pass

608
00:47:39.239 --> 00:47:43.639
on to somebody else. But because we haven't, we're not

609
00:47:43.719 --> 00:47:50.760
a society that is community. Then we we think everything

610
00:47:50.880 --> 00:47:51.719
is me me.

611
00:47:51.480 --> 00:47:52.760
Me me me me me.

612
00:47:52.559 --> 00:47:58.280
Mey me, And I'm sorry that was not the thought

613
00:47:58.360 --> 00:48:01.960
pattern when creation was made. It was never me me,

614
00:48:01.960 --> 00:48:04.320
me me me. It was always we we we we.

615
00:48:04.519 --> 00:48:08.519
And that's the one thing about even some tribal peoples.

616
00:48:08.880 --> 00:48:13.840
There's no word for me. It's all we because we

617
00:48:14.000 --> 00:48:17.039
are in this together, not a me me me. And

618
00:48:17.079 --> 00:48:21.000
when we stop understanding that we are a community and

619
00:48:21.119 --> 00:48:24.000
just want to be individuals, that's when it becomes dangerous

620
00:48:24.360 --> 00:48:27.599
because you can have all kinds of thoughts and anything

621
00:48:27.599 --> 00:48:31.840
can be happening when you isolate yourself. Isolation is just

622
00:48:32.280 --> 00:48:36.559
so dangerous. What advice would you give to someone who's

623
00:48:36.760 --> 00:48:43.719
just starting their trauma healing journey.

624
00:48:44.159 --> 00:48:48.280
That's a good question and a very difficult question because

625
00:48:49.079 --> 00:48:54.199
it's so self identified, like everybody's healing journey is so unique.

626
00:48:54.639 --> 00:49:00.320
Different people start in different like for different reasons. A

627
00:49:00.360 --> 00:49:05.000
lot of times it's when people hit rock bottom, meaning

628
00:49:05.360 --> 00:49:11.480
they've lost a loved one, right, or they've just separated

629
00:49:11.639 --> 00:49:17.440
from their partner of twenty years, or they've lost children,

630
00:49:17.880 --> 00:49:22.039
or they're isolated and nobody to talk to, or they

631
00:49:22.079 --> 00:49:26.119
lost their jobs, right, And so there's a lot of

632
00:49:26.280 --> 00:49:33.840
losses that happen when when trauma healing begins, right. But

633
00:49:33.960 --> 00:49:40.280
I always start from scratch, like I always go way

634
00:49:40.360 --> 00:49:50.239
back to their childhood because past behavior predicts future behavior. Yeah, meaning, yeah,

635
00:49:50.280 --> 00:49:50.840
go ahead.

636
00:49:51.119 --> 00:49:55.840
Oh I was gonna say, we're coming up to town. Okay, Okay,

637
00:49:57.599 --> 00:50:02.840
give the the email or website where people can connect

638
00:50:03.239 --> 00:50:04.360
with you or reach you.

639
00:50:05.239 --> 00:50:12.440
Yes, so I think you've included my website, but I

640
00:50:12.519 --> 00:50:17.239
have I have an email. My email is begin to

641
00:50:17.320 --> 00:50:21.840
Heal at gmail dot com and that's where people can

642
00:50:21.920 --> 00:50:28.599
reach me. Yeah, so thank you for having me. It

643
00:50:28.639 --> 00:50:33.199
was a really nice discussion. And it's so hard to

644
00:50:33.280 --> 00:50:38.199
sum up seventeen years of practice right into like one hour.

645
00:50:39.280 --> 00:50:43.119
But I enjoy what I do. There's you know, I

646
00:50:43.199 --> 00:50:48.920
really do love what I do because it's making a difference.

647
00:50:49.159 --> 00:50:52.559
And that's the that's the greatest thing is just being

648
00:50:52.599 --> 00:50:55.320
out there trying to make a difference, one person at

649
00:50:55.360 --> 00:50:58.480
a time. I really do. Thank you for joining me

650
00:50:58.599 --> 00:51:03.760
this morning, and thank you audience for joining us on

651
00:51:03.920 --> 00:51:08.280
a Sharp Outlook. We're here every Monday at eleven am

652
00:51:08.440 --> 00:51:13.360
Eastern time, eight a m. Pacific time, and please join

653
00:51:13.440 --> 00:51:16.840
us again next week. And whatever you do this week,

654
00:51:17.159 --> 00:51:22.840
think about yourself, do some self loving, and stay informed.

655
00:51:23.559 --> 00:51:23.960
Thank you.

656
00:51:28.400 --> 00:51:30.559
I want to thank you for joining us on a

657
00:51:30.639 --> 00:51:34.400
Sharp Outlook. We have been informed and energized to take

658
00:51:34.400 --> 00:51:38.119
the next steps. We have posted links to websites and

659
00:51:38.199 --> 00:51:42.000
videos to learn more on today's topic. Please join us

660
00:51:42.039 --> 00:51:46.400
again next week or another thought provoking conversation right here

661
00:51:46.760 --> 00:51:51.559
on key for HD radio and Talk for TV. Listen

662
00:51:51.599 --> 00:51:55.840
to the podcast on all the podcast apps, and until

663
00:51:55.920 --> 00:51:58.079
next week, stay informed.